The right setting leads to great success. by Grace

The right setting leads to great success. by Grace - April 2019 Scholarship Essay

Growing up I was always told Highschool was supposed to be fun and a time to make friends. That statement was not true for me. My years in high school were the most challenging years that I ever faced in my life or academically. I want you to think back on one word that describes high school for you. Some may say, friends, sports, clubs, boring, parties or successful. For me, that word would be anxiety.
Walking in the hall way gave me panic in my chest. Walking into a classroom made me so anxious I wanted to cry. I felt dumb in my classes because my classmates picked up on everything the teacher taught us whereas I could only focus on how fast my heart was beating. After months of this anxiety, I began failing my classes, having teachers tell me I’m not trying hard enough and then it came to me just not wanting to go to school. Every morning I would cry and get sick from being too nervous to go to school. I felt stupid, not good enough, felt the teachers didn’t understand and overall scared.
Some days I would push myself to get to school and could only make it till the fourth period. Students would make fun of me for never coming to school. I would get bullied because people thought I was weird for not showing up. Teachers would tell me I have to come to school if I ever want to make it anywhere in life. Depression came quickly and I ended up having to be admitted into the hospital for a month. After that, I did most of my schoolwork from my house and the teachers would send me notes at the school’s request from my therapist. I knew this deal wouldn’t last forever. The school told my mom and I that they didn’t want me in there school anymore that because of my mental health and anxiety I wasn’t up to their standards of a student anymore.
By the end of tenth grade, I knew something needed to change because I wanted to go to college and to do that, I needed to graduate high school. I sat down with the school administration and explained that at this point in my life my anxiety was not under control enough for me to be in a school environment. With a therapist letter they let me continue my schooling with a private tutor in a room with no more than five kids in it. Once I was in tutoring my grades were thriving. I never did so well in school, I had 90-100 in all my classes. I finally understood what I was learning, and I got ahead in my school work. I had this idea in my head that I could graduate high school early if I worked hard.
I presented my idea to the school to let me do my junior and senior year all in one year. The school told me I couldn’t do it and it was highly unlikely Id have enough time to finish unless I took classes over the summer. I was really determined I could finish early even if I had to take some summer classes. They finally agreed to let me try. My tutor helped me every day and pushed me hard so that I could stay focus. She helped me when I had anxiety which wasn’t often because soon, I realized I learned well when I was in a small environment. Most importantly my tutor helped me believe in myself more than most of my teachers ever did.
By the end of summer my junior year I finished my high school career graduating with all A’s. I also had the feeling of accomplishment knowing I was smart and at that time in my life, I just needed extra help. Anxiety is hard to deal with especially as a high schooler who doesn’t understand why it is happening but even harder when the people around you don’t understand it either. At this point in my life I have a college certificate in Business and now am a freshman at a highly known culinary school fully functioning in a classroom with a high GPA.