Fighting My Own Stubbornness by Genevieve

Fighting My Own Stubbornness by Genevieve - May 2022 Scholarship Essay

Ironically, it was towards the end of Pride Month when inspiration struck.
In late June, 2021, I was volunteering at a local museum with my mother. There was a lull in visitors, so we were sitting on the porch together. I was reminiscing on the past school year, and how it felt being the only queer kid in my classes that was out. I felt as though I had to talk about it all time in order to ensure my classmates didn’t forget that, even out in rural Barker, queer people exist. I felt like a representative of the entire queer community, but I knew that there was no way I could ever accurately represent all of the incredibly diverse people in our subset of the population. When voicing this, my mother and I both got the idea to set-up a Gender Sexuality Alliance Club in my school.
School was already out for the summer, but that September would be marking the start of my senior year. If I wanted a chance to do this I had to start soon. After reviewing the school’s club policy, I emailed our principal to start the process. My mother and I were relieved to see that he was not only accepting of the idea, but seemingly excited about it. He sent an email to the faculty to find an advisor, and to our delight someone volunteered.
The weeks leading up to September were agonizing. All I could think about was the potential failure of the club. What if we held the first meeting and no one showed up? What if people came and messed up the meeting for their own prejudiced amusement? Perhaps the scariest thought was the fear that if students came out at meetings because they knew it was a safe place, that safety could be dashed away instantly if someone who was at that meeting, either accidentally or intentionally, outed them.
Considering that horrifying thought was still stuck in my head in September, my preliminary meeting with the advisor went surprisingly well. We laid down some groundwork for what the GSA would become. With a focus on creating a safe place for queer kids grades 7th through 12th. We could eventually grow and do projects in school for the education of students and faculty, as well as petition our school board for changes within the school's system. It was everything I wanted to do with the club, laid out and planned.
However, before the first student meeting we hit a snag.My mother and advisor suggested we call it the Gay Straight Alliance instead of the Gender Sexuality Alliance. They felt the word “sexuality” would bring contention. Though it may seem like such a minuscule detail to get upset over, it did bother me. The GSA was supposed to be standing up for change in a world that resists it. How could we do that while at the same time censoring ourselves in order to appease the people who don't want a word that even includes the letters S, E, and X? It felt almost diametrical to our goal.
Eventually we settled on Gay Straight Alliance, and despite my internal outrage, I knew that they were right. The community we live in is quite conservative. Even though I felt that the word sexuality shouldn't be taboo, using it to make a point wasn't the right choice.
Once we started having meetings and making progress, I came to a realization. It didn't matter what we were called, or what the same three letters meant to different people. It only mattered what we were doing with the space and opportunity available to us. My stubbornness had led to a feeling of contention, but it was my willingness to concede and go with what majority felt was best that allowed us to succeed.