Listen to Dory by Gabrielle

Gabrielle's entry into Varsity Tutor's September 2022 scholarship contest

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Listen to Dory by Gabrielle - September 2022 Scholarship Essay

A lot of my childhood I spent keeping my emotions bottled inside me. Part of this was due to being an only child. I couldn’t just go up to my mom and tell her “Hey, your marriage is truly ruining my life!”, therefore I felt like everything I was experiencing I was going through alone. The other part was just me trying to be the strong little girl everyone described me as. Yes strong means you’re courageous but it doesn’t mean you have to hide your feelings and cry until 2am on a school night. Looking back, I’ve done that a countless amount of times so if I could go back and tell my younger self something, I would tell her to just keep swimming.

Just keep swimming is a motto said by Dory in finding nemo but more importantly it is a quote that was included in the book “It all ends with us”. This book focuses on the cycle of abuse which is a cycle I’m hoping to break in my family. I was able to picture myself in the book which is something I hope others aren’t able to do.

Just keep swimming is what I’ve done since first grade whether I realize it or not. It’s what I will continue to do. No one, even my family, knows the incidents that occur in my household. Not towards me, but towards my mother. Due to her never leaving I always viewed her as weak and held resentment towards her. But this viewpoint of her was incorrect, therefore I would tell my younger self that your mom is a strong woman who just wasn’t able to break the cycle of what she viewed as a girl.

This exhausting, traumatic era of my life is almost over. I graduate soon and won’t have to keep swimming. I’ll be all the way to shore and able to live the life I’ve always imagined. Yes it will take work, but work is something I’m willing to give.

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