You Will Carry Her With You by Feonagrace

You Will Carry Her With You by Feonagrace - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

Dear younger me,
If I could give you one piece of advice, it would be: "you will carry her with you." I know you're scared as you see your mom getting weaker, with no one around that can say words to make it all feel okay. You're trying to be strong, while trying to process what's happening, even while your heart is quietly breaking. Here's what
I want you to know: losing your mom will not be the end of you... it will be the beginning of who you are becoming.

There will be days when the pain feels too loud, when the silence of missing her hurts more than anything else ever could. The love she gave you will grow stronger inside you. It will show up in the way you care for others. In the way you listen, and the way comfort people who feel alone. And one day, you'll realize that she taught you things more powerful than any teacher in a classroom couldn't teach you, in her toughest moments of life. You will choose a path where you can help others the way you once helped her, and not out of obligation, but out of genuine love. Nursing will call to you, not as just a job, but as a way of honoring her life. She may not be here physically, but she is there when you comfort a patient or calm a scared family. That is your strength and that is your heart remembering what it feels like to be deeply loved and deeply needed.

So, when you're feeling like it feels too hard, too heavy, too unfair, remind yourself that you're not alone. She is in your kindness. In your determination. In your dreams. You are not just surviving; you are blooming through grief. And that is something to be proud of.

Love,
Your Future Self