Failure Makes Me Fear Less by Ezrhiel

Failure Makes Me Fear Less by Ezrhiel - July 2016 Scholarship Essay

There has always been that irrational fear in everyone. The one where you are scared to do something because you might fail.

But now I know, failure only makes me fear less.

However, failure does not make me fearless. Fear is what motivates me to accomplish something I would have never thought I would. I feared not fitting in. I feared disappointing my parents. I feared that life would pass me by and I will regret what I have made of myself. All those irrational fears equated to my failure.

I failed to fit in. I failed to make both parents proud with my choices. I failed to live the earlier part of my life for fun. All because I feared of how others would view me.

Because of those fear; I thought I failed myself.

High school was the turning point for me. During my freshman year I was scared to try out for sports teams. It was survival of the fittest in my mind. I deluded myself into thinking that the reason I did not venture out of my comfort zone, join clubs, or try out for any team was due to the fact that I was a freshman trying to learn the ropes. But I knew it was because I was scared.

My friends all took the leap for their interests while I stuck myself in the sidelines watching and feeling happy for them. And I was content. I thought about joining the tennis team... eventually. That turned out to be sooner than I anticipated. Tennis was a pass time that I enjoyed, so I would talk to the tennis coach during my free time. I knew she found me somewhat amusing because I would ask her about tennis, but never made an actual move to join. She urged me to go to a practice to see if I would like it. And I finally did.

She told me I was hesitant in my movements, I was not aggressive enough, I was good but needed more practice. I did not know what I was expecting, but everything she said was not untrue. She continued talking about how that was normal for beginners and I should not let her words deter me from playing.

She said, “People are going to tell you things that may make you not want to continue, but that should only motivate you.”

Because of these fears I learned that failure is my savior. I can add a new perspective, I cannot always please everyone, and I need to take time to really get to know myself and not what other people want me to be. Throughout high school I learned many valuable lessons from my coach, but the most resounding one that I learned from her was:

Without fear we cannot fail. And sometimes we need to fail to find ourselves.