Something True to Someone Else by Ezikiel

Something True to Someone Else by Ezikiel - August 2017 Scholarship Essay

Something True to Someone Else
by Ezikiel M. Holm

Ever since my youth, I have come to understand that for some reason, language is not just a necessary factor of survival for socially inclined species like ourselves, as human beings, but is rather a very crucial component of who an individual will become. I believe this complex movement of vocal cords is truly instrumental in the construction of identity beyond instinctive action. For many it seems as though language is merely meant to audibly communicate a task or function to another person, likening it to a tool that only serves to fulfill a purpose past itself. Such a comprehension I will admit is quite logical, especially given the context of this demonstration of language; however, it fails to offer me a sense of clarity or insight into why I began this essay with the phrase, “ever since my youth.” Said idiom is commonly employed by all writers and speakers, but I believe it is easily unheeded by both presenters and audiences, inspiring me to inquire about what this saying and others comparable to it suggest about our more profound use of language. When I say, “ever since my youth,” I am attempting to convey to my listeners that I am speaking in a sense from a part of my past, while situating myself in the present. My assertion that I do have a past is perhaps the most critical element of this entire piece, as I can now work towards establishing myself as someone who carries with them experience and above this, a story to be told.
However, as I arrived at that conclusive statement, I was plagued by the piercing realization that perhaps I do not have a “true” past that personalizes my use of language, but rather just an understanding of such and how to articulate that to others in order to humanize myself. If this is indeed a veracity, language to me is then not a way to connect with others and give power to the individual experience, it is purely a method of bewitchment and control. For I fear now that I, and others like myself have utilized our languages not even as conductive tools, but as weapons, that serve to beguile the hearts of men into believing we are “real.” Is that what it all comes down to? The question of if we truly exist? And if we come to find that we have all but manipulated ourselves and we are NOT REAL, is this the point where we make language our weapon? How destitute I have come to feel now; how unreal must I make myself in the attempt to be something true to someone else…to another…to you. That’s the grand struggle of it all, the continued presence of you, because why would anyone care if they are real to themselves? Therefore, I’ll leave why I use language, why I claim to have a past, who I am, for you to determine, because I truly only exist for you.

I am an English major with a Pre-law Minor and an interest in Creative Writing. All of these areas allow me opportunity to explore the dynamics of human relationships and, particularly, the complex ways that language defines and is defined by them. I am fascinated with language; how we use words to construct and deconstruct identity; and how, through language, we find purpose and meaning. I see myself as a life-long learner with a sincere desire to help others. My aim is to complete my education and pursue a career that allows me to work closely with people to help them discover their voices and empower them in their educational and personal pursuits.