7th Grade Me by Ethan

7th Grade Me by Ethan - September 2022 Scholarship Essay

It was pouring rain outside. Water trickled every which way without relent, making us all feel like we were in a freezer. Me and my friend Casey were at the 7th grade track team tryouts, and Mother Nature was not on our side that day. Casey was the only person there I knew, him and I having been friends since the start of that grade level. But he was a sprinter, and me trying out for distance led to us being split apart. I was now by myself, running through the muddy grass alone.
Or so I thought. Another boy was just ahead of me, whom I knew but did not like, and ahead of him was a girl I recognized from my English class. The boy was trying to keep up with her without much success, which amused me at the time, but also dramatically changed the sequence of events that followed later that day. After practice, I commented to the girl about the guy trying to keep up with her. We had a good laugh about it, and became good friends very quickly. She told me her name, and that she loved ants. I told her my name, and that I don’t have a belly button. Which is the truth, but that nonetheless makes for a weird introduction. She thought it was funny though, and little 7th grade me was almost instantly “in love”.
Little 7th grade me did not know any better though. The track season continued, the girl and I running together frequently. She was really good, and helped me get better at my running stamina. I was doing really well in school, so I helped her with science and math. Life continued, and I was becoming more aware that she was returning similar feelings for me. This is where I didn’t know any better: I purposefully didn’t do anything. 7th grade me was very naive, and thought if I didn’t do anything then we would stay friends and maybe start dating towards the end of high school, and have a much better chance of a serious relationship.
Now it’s the end of high school, and things have not exactly gone according to plan. We drifted apart towards the end of freshman year, remaining casual friends from there on out. She’s become really good at all types of running, having won multiple races and gone to state level competitions. I’ve become really good at computer science and game design, having won 1 county level and 1 country wide game design competition. Needless to say, things were very different. I overheard the girl talking to one of her friends about wanting to attend a different state college than I did, and all of my 7th grade memories came rushing back to me.
Without thinking, I immediately asked her if we could go out sometime; she told me she only views me as a friend now. Which, looking back on, was to be expected. I had my chance to shoot a shot years ago, and never even took it. It now serves as a painful reminder of a lesson I’ve learned the hard way, that sometimes you just need to forget your fear, take what you can get, and shoot. If I could tell my past, 4 foot 10 inch self one piece of advice, it would be that you will never succeed unless you try.