Painful Blessings by Eris

Painful Blessings by Eris - August 2024 Scholarship Essay

Seventeen weeks mark the difference between a full-term baby and my brother Ethan,
who was born prematurely at 23 weeks. On October 5th, 2002, my mother was rushed to the
hospital and gave birth to Ethan, who was disabled, hearing impaired, legally blind, and just
taller than a soda can. At six months old, he experienced a seizure inside the hospital — that was Ethan's first major experience of pain. My most memorable experience with pain contrasts largely with Ethan's. I was about eight years old. It was a mundane morning before school. I had just finished getting ready when I went to my brother's room to see my mom get Ethan ready for school. She was on the phone telling my dad that something was wrong. She said Ethan wasn't acting like himself, that his palms were abnormally clammy, he was drooling more than usual, and he was drowsy. Seeing my mother scared and worried was the first thing that shook me, but the next line is what hurt the most. My mom had said, "We need to take him to the doctor." Everything that happened after that was a blur. The next moment I can remember is waiting in a hospital while Ethan was in surgery. Watching my mom in a terrified state, scared for Ethan while brushing over my sister's hair while she sat crisscrossed on my mom, playing a temple run on my mom's phone. At that moment, my heart hurt so much; I wished so hard I could take away any of the pain Ethan felt at that moment, and I wished I could take away my mom's fears and worries over my brother.
Many years have passed since that surgery, and Ethan is as happy and healthy as ever, but that day left a lasting impression. It has directly affected not only who I am as a person but also my education goals and my career. Pain is something we all face at one point. Whether through a minor experience like a scrape on the leg or something more major like breaking an arm, we all experience pain.
Some of us experience a less literal form of pain through other people, like when a child is crying from a fall, and your heart aches for them. Unfortunately, it's all just a part of life. Pain is woven into everyone's lifetime, and it's scary, but we can always move past it and become stronger and better from it. I know this because Ethan did it. He is the reason why I have always been interested in working in the medical field, helping people who are experiencing pain just like he did. However, this interest I had was shapeless and unhoned because, again, it was simply just an interest. As I grew up, I learned about all the different roles in the medical field. When I was nine years old, I decided I wanted to be a doctor. When I was thirteen years old, I wanted to be a certified registered nurse anesthetist (CRNA). When I was fifteen years old, I wanted to be a physician assistant. However, when I was finally old enough to shadow and observe in a hospital and learn more about how surgeries and procedures worked, I realized the person who was really alleviating my brother's pain wasn't just a doctor; they were an anesthesiologist. This revelation led me down the rabbit hole of constant research about the occupation. And the more I learned, the more I realized that while pain is vital, there are just some moments that should indeed be painless.
I want to be the person who is entrusted with the care of easing others' pains so that others may help alleviate a lifetime of pain, just like they did for my brother. I want to be the individual who looks after their patient throughout the whole surgery, caring about nothing else than how the patient is feeling throughout the whole surgery. And I want to be the person who wakes them up and asks, "Hey there, how are you feeling?" So, I finally decided that anesthesiology was my goal. So, I kept up my good grades and took extra classes in high school. I graduated early. Now, my next goal is to earn my bachelor's degree in health sciences with a focus on public health. This will allow me to learn more about the intricacies of the healthcare field and build the knowledge needed to work in various healthcare settings. Ultimately, this will allow me to attend medical school to become a doctor and help alleviate the pain of so many because, after years of hard work, I will walk through the hospital with a badge that says Eris Dao, Anesthesiologist.