The Beginning of a Lifelong Love Affair with Literature by Erica

The Beginning of a Lifelong Love Affair with Literature by Erica - August 2016 Scholarship Essay

Growing up I was never quite sure of how to express myself. I always either said too much or too little, but what made matters even worse was my own awareness of my social incompetence. Of course I know that self expression is a common part of the human condition. As free thinking individuals, everyone on this planet has trouble expressing themselves and the idiosyncratic thoughts they assume are so lonely. It seems selfish to say that I am different, but in a small way I apply myself to a subset of people that are a little more affected by the issue of self expression. I over-analyze every situation that life puts me in. Expressing myself is never blurting out the answer confidently in class, or speaking clearly on world issues with friends because I dissect every flaw in my voice and obsess over every stutter. Where vocal words fall short, my written ones have always filled the void.
Some time in my freshman year I began to understand my passion was English. The teachers who assigned summer readings and were despised by so many busy students I came to love. The books that nearly every student summarized by SparkNotes became my favorites. I delved into my love for reading simply because books, at least the ones with authentic depth, have a way of relating to me more than any single human being I have ever spoken to has. Every English class I have ever taken has taught me one thing or another about the quiet kind of self expression, still brave nonetheless, literature. My love for literature has given so much meaning to my life. My experiences in my English classes have sculpted my abilities not only as a writer but also a reader. I began to look for the small details that those high school teachers always scrutinized. Those hidden meanings and short phrases in poetry and fables that I'd saturated with neon Sharpie ink speak deeply to me. I look to find a new mark to make every day.
Those English courses taught me that I am not alone in how I feel nor how I express myself. I do not have a loud personality that screams or shouts, but I am not completely silent. I look for the beauty in things and try to describe it in a way that the world hasn't seen yet, in a combination of written words that amaze people more than fluffed opinions or small talk. I believe English lends itself as versatile to all other subjects too. As a student, bettering myself at writing and broadening my vocabulary has helped me in other classes tremendously. Stating outright that literature helped me grow as a student would be overwhelmingly understating its impact on my life. Not only do I continue to grow as a student, but as an individual and as an aspiring artist as well.