What do you want to be when you are older? by Emonie

What do you want to be when you are older? by Emonie - November 2022 Scholarship Essay

Growing up, I always struggled with the question, “What do you want to be when you’re older?” Trying to figure out who you are and want to become is a heavy decision, especially knowing this choice will also impact the lives of those around you. My uncertainty about who, and what, I wanted to be in the future changed when I became a Big Sister in Big Brothers and Big Sisters at the age of eleven.
When I first met my Little, a ten-year-old girl named Raeyvn, I noticed she was quiet and reserved. Although we were only a year apart in age, being her Big Sister influenced me as much as it impacted her. Most notably, doing schoolwork with Raeyvn taught me the importance of patience and understanding. Since I was a year ahead of her in school, I frequently tried to help her with her homework. At first, it was difficult for me to remain patient when explaining new concepts. While it was tempting to do the work for her, especially when I thought she was not understanding a concept fast enough, I learned that this frustration did not help Raeyvn but was rather a disservice to her. My mom explained to me that I needed to be more patient when helping Raeyvn, who did not have the same support or consistency at home as I did. With this realization, I approached mentoring Raeyvn from a new perspective. By slowing down and being more patient in tutoring, I noticed she felt more comfortable in voicing when she did not understand. As I displayed greater patience and understanding, my mentorship with Raeyvn became more meaningful.
For the next five years, I loved having a Little Sister and found myself maturing as I found a purpose in mentoring someone in my community. My relationship with Raeyvn, however, abruptly changed once COVID-19 required social distancing. Instead of meeting together two or three times a month, the pandemic meant I could only text or call Raeyvn. When things started to open back up in 2021, it was clear there were lasting effects of the pandemic on our relationship. After only a few outings together again, I learned that Raeyvn no longer wanted to be remain my Little.
Confused, I thought I had done something wrong. Although my mama explained to me that sometimes people grow to need more independence and less mentorship, I still struggled with the abrupt end to my friendship with Raeyvn. While tutoring Raeyvn taught me patience, my mentorship experience with her also taught me that one cannot always understand another’s choices. However, even if a relationship is only temporary, one can leave a lasting mark on another’s growth and development.
Although hurt by Raeyvn’s decision, my passion for helping the youth in my community remained. Soon afterwards, I became a Big Sister to five-year-old Addison. Addison is different from Raeyvn. She is talkative and energetic, and she loves hugs. Since Addison is only five, most of our time spent together involves watching Disney princess movies or making food from scratch. I have so much fun when I am with her. Addison’s nature energizes me and demonstrates how simple activities can bring joy to one’s life.
Both Raeyvn and Addison have helped me find my calling and become an all-around better version of myself. Raeyvn taught me to be understanding of everyone’s situation, while Addison taught me to be more open and happier with life. Both have taught me to be more patient with others and also with myself. They have helped me realize I have a passion for helping children. The question of “What do you want to be when you’re older?” is no longer unclear. I want to build upon my passion for helping the youth in society by becoming a social worker or juvenile attorney. In mentoring others, I found my way.