Hardship as Motivation by Emma

Hardship as Motivation by Emma - April 2024 Scholarship Essay

As a graduating high school senior, I find myself reflecting quite a bit on what motivates me and I found there to be two main observations that I have had through my experiences in high school. One of the unfortunate observations I have had is that our individual differences matter to people way more than they should. One of the good understandings I have learned is that despite that fact we should all embrace our differences.
In my junior year, I had to create and conduct a research project for my AP Research class. I researched a condition called Imposter Syndrome (IS). A person who experiences IS may have low confidence and not believe in their capabilities. Taking this topic, I decided to specifically look at how IS affects a group that, research showed, to have a high number of IS cases- African-American female doctors. Surprisingly, these doctors expressed that they had confidence in themselves and did not feel that they had to act equally to their counterparts or seem better. What I learned about myself from the results and the conversations with the participating doctors served much value to me.
As a biracial female at a top-rated high school that is 98% non-black and only 2% black, I suffered from low confidence at times, and I tried to hide my difference as much as I could. Additionally, I would compare myself to others and expect to perform and do everything they did. When I did not perform like them, I felt terrible. Taking the ACT, students around me got 30+ on their first try. Despite studying hard and taking advanced classes, I received a 26 on my first try. After this and life experiences, not only did I not feel as smart as the students in my school, but I also felt like I did not fit in.
I realized that the reason my confidence was so low was not because of my scores, but because I was comparing myself to other people at my school. As the doctors resoundingly concluded in my project; however, we are not the same. We do not all have to follow the same path to success. We are not monolithic. Understanding that, was why those women, specifically, were able to become doctors. I also concluded that if everyone is not the same, then nobody can be perfect. We all have struggles, obstacles, and adjustments to learn from.
While this was tough to accept at times, I have found that all of these lessons and understandings have ultimately shaped and will shape who I am. It has driven me to work harder than I may have otherwise. I have taken honors and AP courses. I attend track practice, club meetings, and other school activities. I am a member of three different honors societies. I have joined school clubs and organizations to network, share knowledge, and support my school and my community with an intention that I might not have had otherwise. Outside of school, I worked hard to earn a black belt in Taekwondo. I have a job, while most of my friends and peers do not. I take great pride in working and paying my way. I also volunteer quite frequently. From delivering food to needy families to supporting neighborhood clean-up programs, I do all I can to help. This volunteer involvement is how I discovered my passion for helping people, which I think ultimately is what led me to want to be a doctor. Learning from what current black female doctors have taught me, I feel as though I am on my way to becoming one.
Life has its tendency to throw curve balls and difficulties to prevent individuals from staying focused and achieving their academic goals. I feel the two lessons I have learned throughout my time as a kid, are what motivates me to stay on track. Whenever I think about wanting to give up, I am always reminded of the research I did and what I learned. I have convinced myself that I am a hard worker and can make a difference in this world in one way or another.
Thank you for giving me this opportunity.