Advice for my Thirteen Year Old Self by Emma

Advice for my Thirteen Year Old Self by Emma - April 2021 Scholarship Essay

It's mind blowing, knowing that five years have passed since I was thirteen. I'm eighteen now, an adult, and I remember thinking back then that it would take me forever to be an adult. Now that I'm here, just over one month past my eighteenth birthday, it feels like no time has passed at all since I was sitting in my eighth grade science classroom, thirteen and terrified that I was going to fail, get the first F of my life. I felt like it was all over. I would never go to college like I planned, I was a disgrace, I couldn't do it. All because of one single failing grade.

Looking back, I wish I could tell myself just how proud I am of her. I wish I could tell myself just how far I've come from there, that one failing class wasn't the end of the world. I wish I could help myself, give me the advice I need to pull myself up by my bootstraps. If I could, I would tell myself about all the good friends I've made throughout my time in high school, I'd show myself every project and essay, every shiny gold star, each note in red pen reading "Good job!" and "Excellent work!" because in the end, what I needed to know was that I am capable of succeeding. I am capable of thriving. That I am going to college, and that I am going to do amazing things there.

But the thing is, I don't actually need to tell myself any of this. Because my little thirteen year old self, five years ago now, knew all this. She knew that she was capable of so much more. I saved myself, all that time back then. Nobody told me any of this, and yet, I still was able to find ways to move forwards. I talked to my teacher, made up assignments, did any and all extra credit. I put my nose to the grindstone. It wasn't easy, turning that F into an A. There were times I wanted to give up, when I felt that it was too hard. There were times I thought maybe it would be fine to ease up on myself, that a C was passing, I'd be fine if I slowed down a bit, but no. That dedication to bring my grade up pushed me to new heights. It taught me the meaning of hard work, taught me that with enough effort, enough drive to succeed and do well, I can climb mountains.

That desire to push forwards has made me who I am today. It's been what's facilitated each "Good job!" and "Excellent work!" and every shiny gold star. It's what's made sure that I succeeded, that I put in the hard work to make sure that each and every one of my essays and projects was perfect. My drive is what has brought me to today, and to the front gates of higher learning, and without it, and the events that forged it, I wouldn't be here.