Unforeseen Inspiration by Emerson

Unforeseen Inspiration by Emerson - November 2022 Scholarship Essay

When I was a child, my dream was to someday become a bestselling author. I went to Barnes & Noble stores and imagined my name and my own book in place of the other bestsellers on the shelf. I read biographies and watched interviews with my favorite authors and wished that someday that would be me. I spent much of my childhood attempting to write my own novels, but they never turned out the way that I planned. There were always flaws in the characters, a lack of detail, and minimal proof of maturity in my writing. While there was little that I could do to exceptionally advance my writing skills, I now realize that was not my problem. My problem was that I lacked inspiration because I went searching for it.
In my everyday encounters with my friends and family, I saw stories that I thought were worthy of being told. I wrote the stories of my first crush, my experiences on the children’s dance and cheer team, and my whimsical adventures with my best friend, but I was always careful to avoid the less glamorous aspects of my life. My protagonists never had to move across the country the way that I did. My characters always found their true loves while I felt unloved. My stories were full of all of the best parts of my life and the parts that I wished would happen, but they pushed aside all of the negative aspects of my world.
A few months ago, I found an unexpected source of inspiration: darkness. This past year has been difficult for me, as I found out that I would be forced to, again, move across the country just in time for my senior year of high school. My family and I packed up our belongings and moved this past summer, but this event did not leave me unphased. After receiving the news of our move, I quickly spiraled into a state of endless sadness and worry. I was not able to get in to see a therapist due to the lack of mental health resources available as a result of the mental health crisis following the pandemic, so I got put on antidepressants and tried to carry on. After I moved away from my home and was trying to settle in at my new one, I felt trapped. I had no idea what to do. One day, though, I got an idea. I decided that instead of ignoring and turning away from the dark parts of my life, I should embrace them and help others do the same.
After this realization, I created a blog that revolved around the idea of taboo topics, such as mental health. I decided that instead of allowing my sorrow and despair to consume me, I would use it to help myself and help others. Since the beginning of my blog, I have covered topics such as mental wellness, societal expectations, and personal stories that tie it all together, and after I post each blog, people respond to it and tell me that I told them exactly what they needed to hear at that moment. Even if my blog only reaches one person, that will be enough for me. I have learned that the key to inspiration is embracing all thoughts, both good and bad as well as everything in between. It is this ideal that brought me inspiration in a difficult time, and it is this ideal that will carry me forward to the future.