Different Perspectives at Home by Eliza

Different Perspectives at Home by Eliza - March 2024 Scholarship Essay

Growing up in a homeschool family, I spent more time at home than my peers. My three siblings and I were all taught by my courageous mother and father. I admire and commend my parents for choosing to homeschool us. It was a brave thing to do, and I respect their commitment to ensuring that we didn’t fall below but rather exceed local standards. Through victorious highs and discouraging lows, I graduated one year early as a homeschool student.
Now, despite my deep love and respect for my parents in and outside of the classroom, we didn’t always see eye-to-eye. When you’re constantly working together, that can be rather difficult. Allow me to provide some specific examples of when I had to work alongside my parents when we didn’t share the same perspective, what I learned from those situations, and how I’ve grown in the long run.
During a time in my childhood, my mom faced serious health challenges that led her to enroll us in public school. When my mom was well enough, she took up homeschooling once more. Although my parents saw this as the obvious decision, I, on the other hand, did not share their opinion. I enjoyed public school, and my young brain was mortified at the prospect of leaving. There were two different perspectives and a need to work together.
Like most households with teenagers, cleaning and tidying can be a bit of a challenge. In my family, the problem wasn’t often doing the work, it was how it was done. I wanted to clean the kitchen one way while my parents wanted it done another. I specifically remember that one time the floors needed sweeping and mopping. I wanted to sweep with a broom and then mop with a mop. My mom wanted me to use a device that both swept and mopped at the same time. What a silly disagreement! But, it was a disagreement—a difference of perspectives when we needed to work together.
Finally, my family held to certain rules and principles. They were completely reasonable rules with benevolent intent. That being said, it was my job as a teenager to push back against those rules (I’m joking, but it was bound to happen). Every year, when my family enforced the decision not to celebrate Halloween, I resisted. My parents held a deep conviction not to celebrate this specific holiday, and at the time, I did not. This is yet another example of a need to work together (living in unity) that was contested by differing perspectives.
These examples may seem overly ordinary at first glance; however, I believe that character is built in the home. Every child experiences contrasting perspectives in relation to their siblings or parents. These differing opinions don’t negate the need to work together as a family unit. How does one navigate these normal yet tricky circumstances? Though I still have a lot of room to grow, I’ve learned that there are healthy ways and appropriate times to address and deal with situations that involve differing perspectives needing to collaborate. I would like to share some tips that I’ve learned and how I’ve improved over the years.
The first is simple: respect each other’s views and don’t worry about changing them. There must be mutual respect for any teamwork to take place. Focusing all your efforts on changing the other person’s perspective will only distract from what needs to be accomplished. For example, when I disagreed with my parents about returning to homeschooling, I should have concentrated on working side by side with my parents rather than complaining and continually expressing my discontent. In this situation, I learned that expressing one’s opinion and perspective should not take precedence over working toward the desired goal.
When it is necessary to share perspectives because what is trying to be accomplished is being hindered by the differences, it’s absolutely vital to approach the situation with humility and respect. One of the hardest things that I’ve had to learn is the concept of listening to understand. Too often we like to listen to respond instead of listening to gain understanding. In the frivolous disagreement about chores, I wish that I had listened intently and with a desire to understand what my mom had to say.
The third point has been all but lost in our current culture. As a teenager, my parents held authority over me. I believe that there is a time and place to respectfully address opposing viewpoints with authority figures. Other times, it’s just not necessary. One of the most beautiful things that someone under authority can say is “I have a different perspective than you, but I respect you and submit to your authority.” No matter how much I disagreed with the rule not to celebrate Halloween, in the end, I chose obedience because that was the correct and honorable thing to do. Furthermore, it is something that must be brought into the adult world because authority figures do exist. Obedience must start in the home.
Learning to work with those who do not share your perspective can be difficult. With the skills that I learned inside and outside of my home, I will certainly be more equipped to go out and make a difference in the world—a world that is filled with diverse perspectives.