Stand Together by Dhvani

Stand Together by Dhvani - February 2016 Scholarship Essay

It is hard to be a woman. Not only because it's a "man's world" or we face glass ceilings or are victims of the wage gap. Women face many larger and impacting problems in their everyday lives. One of the greatest causes of women being brought down is other women.
I have always noticed little things that some may fail to see. The subtle way women comment on the "appropriateness" of the clothes on another woman, the victim blaming everyone seems to do in almost all cases, or the hatred for the word feminist. Internal misogyny has become a prevalent attitude among young women these days. Every time there are nudes leaked at school, no one stops to think about the guy who asked for them or leaked them; everyone is quick to judge the girl who is clearly the victim. Every time a girl feels confident enough to dress the way she pleases, she is judged. Show a little skin and you're a slut, show no skin and you're a prude. Standards like these aren't set by men they're, set by other women and their judgment. The majority of beauty and health magazines are published by women, and what do they publish? Tips to gain weight, tips to lose weight, tips to look good for a man, tips to look tan or pale or short or tall. Women should be encouraging each other to feel confident with themselves, not encouraging each other to please men and the unfair standards of society.
The day after a televised award show, I overheard girls in my class talking about Nicki Minaj. They began bashing her about how vulgar and trashy it was for her to dress or rap the way she did. Not wanting to be rude, but still curious as to what made them say that, I walked over to them and questioned their reasons for this opinion. They said Nicki Minaj was "nasty", barely wore clothes, and had no morals. They said she wasn't thinking of all the children that watched the show. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Wasn't this the same award show where Kanye West was applauded for his performance, despite having every other word censored out? Wasn't this the same award show where Robin Thicke had just sang a song that promoted rape-culture? Wasn't this the same award show where more than half of the lewd back-up dancers were men? So why do we as women bring down other women when they are simply being confident with themselves? By commenting on Nicki Minaj's outfit and dance moves, we are taking away her merit as a rapper and instead reducing her to just a body. People shed tears and applaud a man every time he acts like a woman and cooks or cleans. But the second a woman acts strong and confident, similar to how men get to act all the time, she is looked down on. I am never one to confront others and usually avoid messy situations where feelings can become hurt,but I could not let this self-hatred harbor among women, especially ones I was friends with. I didn't confront the girls to hurt them, or make them look bad, but instead to help them grow and learn to love. I would do it again without hesitation.
We women need to stick together and build what has been torn down over the centuries. We need to grow further with our confidence and love for each other. Instead of bringing others down, we need to feed their confidence. We need to allow women to be themselves and be happy without the worry of society's double-standard and misogyny. It is hard to be a woman. But it would be easier if we had each other.