Learning to Reach Out: My Journey to Asking for Help by D'Nya

Learning to Reach Out: My Journey to Asking for Help by D'Nya - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

If I could give my past self one piece of advice it would be this: don't be afraid to ask for help. I thought at the time that asking for help was a sign of weakness. I struggled with tough classes late into the night thinking that I could figure everything out on my own. I'd stare at hard equations or dense reading material until I felt myself hitting a wall. Instead of responding to questions or shooting off a quick email I'd work and work and work until I was burnt out and stressed out.

In sophomore year of high school I came across a geometry unit that was impossible. I fought for hours to figure out integrals on my own. Frustration built up until I dreaded going into the classroom. I avoided study groups under the assumption that everyone else had it together. But when I finally asked a friend to clarify a concept it clicked immediately. In that moment I realized that collaboration isn't cheating yourself of knowledge; it's multiplying it. That simple exchange saved me from weeks of confusion and made the material stick in my mind.

Outside the classroom I let pride get in the way of calling out when I needed emotional assistance. During college applications I was under a lot of stress juggling essays deadlines and standardized tests. I remember staying up late into the night replaying all of the rejection scenarios in my head. Instead of talking to my guidance counselor or a teacher I trusted I kept everything internal. I told myself that expressing anxiety would make me seem unprepared or incapable. When I nearly missed a deadline I finally broke my silence to my older cousin who had gone through the same experience. She shared her own struggles and suggested that I break tasks into smaller steps. Her advice gave direction and made the workload appear manageable.

Even in social gatherings I was hesitant to ask for help. In group projects I was the one who was trying to do the lion's share of the work because I believed that was the fastest way to a good grade. I was worried that if I delegated, it would pull everything down. Therefore, I burned out and did work that was far below my potential. It wasn't until I was in college for a semester that I realized how much more I could do when I embraced teamwork. In a biology lab project I offered to organize data entry while my partner made charts. I learned that each person has their own strengths to offer. By allowing others to assist I not only reduced my workload but improved the quality of the entire project.

The question-holding habit also damaged my social life. I was embarrassed to ask classmates to remind me of group meetups or social gatherings for fear I'd seem ignorant. I lost chances to connect and form relationships. When I ended up asking a roommate to remind me of future get-togethers I found she valued my candor. That conversation opened the door to more friendship and made me feel less isolated in a new location.

In retrospect I understand that the refusal to ask for help cost me more than temporary frustration. It slowed my learning it strained my relationships and it fueled a cycle of self doubt. If I could go back in time I would tell myself that vulnerability is not weakness. It's a bridge that gets us closer to others and closer to new possibilities. I would tell my younger self that every individual I admire has relied on mentors peers or educators at one time or another. It doesn't show ignorance to ask questions; it demonstrates the desire to learn.

Having learned sooner to seek assistance would have definitely improved my grades but, more importantly, would have taught me the value of community and reciprocity. When I finally did learn that lesson I saw the power of the collective effort. Office hours were a time for brainstorming rather than self‑flagellation. Study groups were friendships founded upon interdependence. Conversations about stress were plans for balance.

Now a college freshman, I carry that advice with me daily. When struggling with difficulties with my academic portal, I call the admissions department without second-guessing myself. When losing motivation, I talk to my academic adviser. When needing emotional support, I rely on close friends and campus counselors. That network supports me and reminds me that growth happens quickest when you lean on the people around you.

If I could tell my earlier self anything it would be this: seeking help does not make you weaker. It makes you human. It opens the door to knowledge relationships and personal development that you could never achieve in isolation. Accept the strength of community. Allow yourself to be helped. You'll discover that working together not only lightens your load but also enhances the path at every step along the way.