Improving My Past Self by Corbin

Improving My Past Self by Corbin - September 2022 Scholarship Essay

Do you ever look back at your past self or past actions and wish you would have done something differently? I, being a 17-year-old high school senior, am more than guilty of this. A lot of our lives are spent making mistakes and learning to correct those flaws, but I feel as if I have been afraid to make those mistakes in my past, due to how they may affect people's perspectives on me. This is why I wish I could have told my past self to just be myself, but I can’t change the past. The only thing I can do now is learn from the past.
I and all others are all well too familiar with being influenced and affected by other individuals' views. This can impact our actions and also the outcome of many different situations, so why do I, myself let this happen? That’s a question I wish I would have answered earlier in my life but I wasn’t able to. After 17 short years, I have the answer. I had a sense that I needed to please others rather than please myself. That I needed to make others happy rather than make myself happy. That I needed to care and help others rather than care and help myself. The reason I believed this was the way I had to act for so long was that I thought I had to have everyone on my side and I fed off of their views of myself. Little did I know I am my toughest opponent in life, not my peers.
One of the biggest lessons I have learned on this topic is to never apologize for being myself. If people don’t like how I act, how I look, or how I speak, that means those aren’t my people. I am glad I learned this and I wish I could also inform my past self about this. For quite some time in my past, many of my actions and words were swayed in a way to make those around me happy, but those words and actions weren't me. I often tell myself, “I won’t change who I am to match my surroundings, I will pick better surroundings and be myself.” If people can’t accept me for who I am and how I act, then they aren’t worth my time but rather a waste of time. Mother Theresa once said, “People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be good enough. Give your best anyway.” This shows and connects to my statement about being yourself and not worrying about the point of view others may have on you.
Lastly, being able to have a strong and confident mindset within my self-talk and attitude will bring me further success in life rather than listening and acting upon others' terms. With all said and done, the past is the past and I can’t change it so that’s why I have to live and learn. I am starting to see why the windshield is more important than my rear-view mirror because what stands in front of me is my biggest worry now.