Choosing Chaos by Cindy

Choosing Chaos by Cindy - November 2016 Scholarship Essay

College is complete chaos.

It is a whirlwind snatching away at my week.
It is a slow-flowing stream dragging out my day.
Both at the same time, actually.

Monday: two lectures, an interview in between, a club meeting, and morning registration for an exam.
Tuesday: three lectures, a ballet class, a discussion, a club meeting, a deadline to meet for the school newspaper, and buying a new notebook and an exam booklet.
Wednesday: a discussion, a lecture, a lab, a club meeting, and attending the Fall Internship and Career fair.
Thursday: three lectures, a ballet class, and a club studio lead meeting.
Friday: a lecture, a club board meeting, and a Design major advising appointment.
Saturday: an upper division composition exam and a club social.
Sunday. an ideating and prototyping meeting with my team for the Fiat-Chrysler Automobile project.

That is a snapshot of my week from mid-October. Throw in the pre-labs, assigned homework, post-labs, two upcoming exams to study for, and figuring out what or even when to cook and eat and you have a recipe for one overwhelming week. Yet, somehow, I made it to every single commitment that week.

The beautiful thing here is that I did it. And I don’t necessarily mean it in the way that I succeeded in completing my schedule of items (although I would consider that an achievement in itself). I mean “I did it” in that I was literally the mastermind behind the chaos. I chose it all for myself. This privilege of the college experience comes in two parts: having the ability to make my own decisions and having the opportunity to make those very decisions.

Taking ownership of my own future by deciding what actions to take for myself is an alarmingly refreshing benefit of college. I certainly was not dependent on my parents to make decisions for me pre-college, but I certainly did not have the kind of complete control of every single little decision that I do now. When something goes wrong, there is nobody else to blame but myself. On that same note, there is nobody else to credit but myself when something goes right. That responsibility, although burdening for some, lets me live more independently and learn from my own triumphs and tumbles. From something as big as deciding on my double majors in Cognitive Science and Design to something as small as choosing which spiral unlined notebook to buy, I can design both my immediate and distant future with my own two hands – or rather, my own frontal lobes. I realize that the luxury of choice and responsibility stays with age, but part of its value comes from it being a new experience. The other part of its value is the endless horizon of potential encounters that college fosters for its students.

Decisions are nothing without the plethora of opportunities I get to choose from. Even with this freedom, the reason it holds such significance is simply because college cultivates an environment where internships, on-campus jobs, research labs, student organizations, and ways to be involved with the surrounding community are plentiful. Unique opportunities arise at every turn; students only have to keep an open mind and look a little harder to see them. From just sitting in on a guest design lecture, I heard from the president of Design for America at UC Davis, a student organization that I am now an officer for. From the Cognitive Science and Psychology email newsletter, I found the research lab, Developmental Research Center, that I am now a research assistant for. From the Facebook Jobs and Internship page for Davis, I landed on an application to become a part of The California Aggie, the campus newspaper I am now Layout Artist for. Sure my college life might be busy and exhausting, but knowing that I pushed myself to take advantage of all of these exciting opportunities makes it worth it.

At no other time and place in the world am I going to experience the same atmosphere – one of seemingly infinite possibilities geared for young, learning, creative minds. As these possibilities present themselves, I can take them or leave them. I can decide for myself whether or not they are worth trying out. All of the involvements I have engaged myself in are opportunities that I will never take for granted. Yes, college is for classroom learning towards a degree (or two), but it’s also a way for students to explore the world around them in an inviting, open-minded context. Providing the platform for me to re-spark my passions in dance, in doing design, in learning the sciences, in working with motivated teams, and in meeting remarkable students and community members, is something I will forever be thankful to college for.

It’s enough to make me embrace the crazy beautiful dynamic that college is for me.