Note to Self: Be Confident by Christine

Note to Self: Be Confident by Christine - July 2016 Scholarship Essay

“These four years are going to fly by quickly,” people told me when I started high school. “As long as you balance your time, you’ll enjoy it.” What no one told me is that there is more to “enjoying it” than time management. I had to be open and willing to work out of my comfort zone; I learned that sometimes I had to be the one to initiate conversations, and that sometimes I had to step up and lead others. If I wanted something, nothing would happen if I just waited for opportunities to come to me--I had to go and create opportunities for myself. Throughout my four years, however, the most important lesson that I learned was how to make that happen. Thus, I will never forget the advice my honors biology teacher gave me when I asked her to write me a letter of recommendation: “You’re smart, but that isn’t enough. You need to learn to speak more confidently. You can’t expect others to listen to you if you’re unsure of your own words.”

My biology teacher, Dr. Vites, was a rather controversial figure at my school. She was known for her strange teaching style; many students complained that they never understood what she taught in class. Students either loved or hated her, and I was apprehensive when I found out that I would have her as my biology teacher at the beginning of junior year. However, I quickly found out that there was no reason for me to be worried, because she knew what she was teaching us, and I did not have any problems with her teaching style. Personally, I was always able to understand and keep up with concepts that she taught, and if I did not understand something, I always felt welcome to ask her to clarify.

I felt comfortable talking to Dr. Vites because of her open personality, something I did not feel with most other teachers. I was shy and often did not speak in classes, even though I usually understood the material and did well on tests. Dr. Vites addressed this when I asked her to write me a letter of recommendation for a summer program I was applying to at the end of junior year. Her policy when writing letters for students is that she requires a conference in order to discuss the student, the program, and anything we would or would not like her to include in the letter. After talking about my classes and grades, Dr. Vites discussed my extracurriculars, mentioning the fact that I did not have any board or leadership positions. It was then that she pointed out that I kept adding fillers such as “I think” or “I hope” into my answers to her questions, and gave me the advice that I should learn to speak more confidently.

That one piece of advice changed my perspective on voicing my opinions. Living in a household where I am always told what to do and having certain expectations pressed down on me, I began adding qualifiers into my speech in order to make it seem like I was not forcing my opinions onto others. Eventually, it became a habit that I did not even realize that I had. However, when Dr. Vites pointed that out, I realized that it made me appear weak and unsure. If I ever wanted others to listen to me and take me seriously, I had to speak like I knew what I believed in without question. With that one piece of advice, I gained two leadership positions in senior year. Over time, I also gained more self-assurance, allowing me to thrive both personally--mentally and emotionally--as well as interpersonally, when interacting with others.

I never would have thought that a simple, subtle change in speech would affect me so greatly, but it did. With a newfound self-confidence, I was able to not only find more opportunities such as becoming leader of a club by daring to take on new challenges, but also meet new people and enjoy myself more during my last year in high school. Therefore, yes, I agree with those who told me that high school would go by quickly and that time management was key--but that is not all. Time management means nothing if all I do is learn to balance schoolwork and extracurriculars. High school proved a challenge more mentally and emotionally than physically. The most valuable lesson from four years’ worth of stress and challenges that no one ever warned me about is that sometimes it is okay to let go, as long as I have to strength and self-confidence to bounce back, and work even harder.