Commitment to Criticism by Christian

Commitment to Criticism by Christian - January 2016 Scholarship Essay

When I was in the 11th grade during the spring semester of 2015, I was convinced that one of my teachers hated my guts.

I've felt fairly confident in my writing abilities ever since I was in elementary school, so when I took an unspecified high school class, I was excited to expand my knowledge. In the course, we had to pick a subject for our first major assignment. The style was new to me, so I went through many revisions. The assignment required me to interview someone, which is not something that I was comfortable with at the time (since then, I have come to enjoy it), but I managed to do it well. At least, that's what I believed.

One of the great things about attending an online home school is the discussions; students participate in moderated forums to share their writings before they turn in the assignment. The overall response that I received for my work was very positive, and this, combined with my prior confidence and pride at having successfully conducted an interview, caused me to become certain that I would receive an A on the assignment. I turned it in to my teacher and eagerly awaited feedback. Some time later, I saw that it had been graded, so I hurried to check it, excited to hear about what I had achieved.

Simply put, I had received a much lower score than I had anticipated. I became distraught. I had put so much work into that assignment, and I had been seemingly cheated out of the grade that I believed that I deserved. At first, I wanted to just forget about the whole matter. The main problem with that course of action was that I had a similar assignment coming up. It may sound strange, even petty, but I agonized over what I was going to do for some days, though I knew that every hour I wasted was an hour I wasn't preparing for the upcoming assignment. It wasn't the fact that I had received a low score on the assignment that caused me to become irate: it was my pride. I was proud of my own skill as a writer, I was proud of the work I had poured into the assignment, and most of all I was proud of a grade that I hadn't received yet. Indeed, there were a few moments that I (naively) wondered whether the matter was personal, as if initial mistakes had convinced the teacher that I was inept. Unfortunately, there was no one but myself to blame.

After some discussion with my family, I forced myself to swallow my pride and humbly ask my teacher for direction. Thankfully, direction was received. I following guidelines to the letter and wrote the assignment in a different style, one that I now realize was much more appropriate. I carefully reviewed and revised before submitted it for a grade. When I got it back, I no longer held the prideful confidence that I previously had. To my surprise and glee, however, I received a perfect score. I had achieved those before, of course, but that time it felt so much more valuable...as did the three lessons that I learned.

Firstly, I learned not to be presumptuous; just because I think I deserve something, that doesn't mean that I actually do. Secondly, I learned to pay attention to the little details, both in school and in other aspects of life, as they can be key. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I learned to be wary of pride. I was cocky in my thinking, and I thought myself as an experienced writer instead of a learner. Worse, I became reluctant to ask for help, afraid to admit my mistakes. The entire experience was very humbling, but it reminded me that wherever I am, no matter how experienced I become, I am always a student.

With every semester of education that I take, I find myself being pushed harder. However, I do not want to slip into same mistake that I did last year. The more I learn, the more I realize that I do not know that much. There is always room to grow, intellectually, mentally, and emotionally. Thus, for the upcoming year, I have resolved to be malleable. I will not be so susceptible as to not have my own opinions, but I have determined that I will be open to constructive criticism. Without that open mindedness, I will stuck in a quagmire of arrogance – and in a college environment, that is unacceptable.