Learning how to Believe in My own Greatness Again by Chloe

Learning how to Believe in My own Greatness Again by Chloe - July 2016 Scholarship Essay

After recently completing my first year of college, I find myself constantly going back in time and trying to figure out how I managed to get to this point. This space where I am finally more confident and self-assured in what I have to offer as a person. This space where I am no longer filled with doubts and negative thoughts that at one point, tried to get the best of me. Because if I were to be completely honest, it hasn’t always been this way. In high school, I struggled a lot with figuring out where a little fish like me fit into such a huge ocean of unique creatures, and although I was pretty good at masking my confusion to others, I knew just how unsure of myself I really was. I walked around with so much uncertainty regarding my strengths that it soon snowballed into an overall lack of confidence. In return, I was left self-doubtful for fear of others judging me.
In college, these same characteristics persisted until I took a class with a very outspoken Professor. During the first few days of class, she made it very clear that a large percent of your grade was based on class participation. At first, I would actively speak up and voice my views on different topics that we would discuss, but eventually I reverted back into that same self-doubtful rut. In return, my teacher made no secret of displaying her dissatisfaction with my class involvement. I went from being a strong voice within the classroom to slowly trying to blend into the background. By this time, I was left struggling to figure out how to win my Professor’s approval back, while finals were quickly approaching in just a few weeks.
When I proceeded to talk to my Professor about what I could do to raise my participation grade, her response was not the typical retort. She said “I’m not going to explain to you word for word how to do this. There is no magic potion. You have to figure out what you need to do in order to make this grade better”. Immediately after the conversation I was left frustrated and confused as to what the conversation had meant and what I was supposed to do next, but as I continued to process that information throughout the day, the solution had become much clearer at night. I was left with a choice to let my personal fears interfere with my grade and cause me to continue in self-doubt, or I could swallow that uncomfortable pill and choose to believe in myself despite the personal opinions of others. I chose to believe in me.
Although half of the semester had already passed, I didn’t believe it was time to throw in the towel quite yet. From that moment on, I made a constant effort to enter her classroom with such a confidence and sureness about myself that no one could question whether I truly believed what I was saying. My Professor and others in the classroom began to notice and were very pleased with my improvements in just one semester. It was in that moment that I realized the lesson she taught me was way deeper than “speaking to get a good grade”. It was a lesson I could carry with me forever. She wanted to show me how important it was to believe in my own magic, in myself, and the greatness that lies within me. She showed me that it is only when you speak with confidence that others truly stop and listen to what you have to say. And lastly, she made me believe that I am just as amazing as the next person. So as I leave my personal story of inspiration and how I have benefited so greatly from this self-transformation, I strongly encourage others to walk in their own inner- confidence.