A Tangle of Knots, If You Will by Charlotte

A Tangle of Knots, If You Will by Charlotte - February 2024 Scholarship Essay

When people ask me why I love writing, I always tell them, “oh, because I love reading.” Bleak response—every writer must love reading, of course. But the reason I’m so interested in writing as a career is because I love the sheer impact that a piece of writing can have on somebody. For centuries, humans have been influenced by literature, from the Bible to the Gettysburg Address, but not all literature is created equal. Some pieces are written with a goal, while others are simply an intimate array of thoughts; some aim to influence a large group, while others appeal to a small niche. Because of this ambiguity, it’s impossible to categorize a piece as simply “good” or “bad.” The question becomes whether or not the piece is effective–whether or not it accomplishes its intended purpose. In my literary experience, the most effective pieces of writing are those that remain universal by connecting with emotions and experiences outside those of the intended audience—the type of pieces that I, as an English Literature major, intend to someday write myself.
As I mentioned before, I’ve always loved to read. I actually began reading for fun in kindergarten, when I got in trouble and my parents banned me from watching TV for the rest of the week. Instead, I took to the pages, and the first book that I read completely alone was Junie B. Jones Has A Monster Under Her Bed by Barbara Park. And while my six-year-old mind was busy absorbing Junie B.’s story--to this day, there exists no greater piece of literature than Junie B. Jones–my mother was having an epiphany of her own. As she helped me read through long paragraphs, she came to the realization that Junie B. Jones was a complete brat. And so while I was busy reading, my mom began to consider how she–a woman thirty years past the target demographic of Junie B. Jones–could prevent this from happening to me. What steps could she take to avoid raising a disrespectful child? And the next thing I knew, my mom and I both had a takeaway from Junie B. Jones Has A Monster Under Her Bed: the monster under your bed is likely imaginary, and Junie B. Jones is a bad influence.
Life went on, Junie B. Jones and I went our separate ways, and I entered a period of reading hatred as a result of monotonous required reading books of elementary school. However, as my class started To Kill A Mockingbird, I found myself enchanted with the story unfolding before me. Not only was I infatuated with the fast-paced adventures of Scout and Jem and the gut-wrenching trial of Tom Robinson, but I found myself learning from and–dare I say relating–to the story, too. At first I felt almost self-centered for seeing myself in Scout and her journey towards moral education. But as I began to read the book, I related even more, sharing Scout’s struggle to learn about the biases of the world and experiencing her same loss of innocence. I was touched that the writer had given such careful attention to the hardships and disappointment that kids face as they grow up. Reading To Kill A Mockingbird made me grateful that a book like that exists, but even more so, it made me eager to write something that relevant, too.
As my English teacher began to unpack the themes of the novel, I felt even stranger, that the message of a book seemingly about social inequality in the 20th century could somehow apply to me, too, an eighth-grade girl in 2019. It was then that I realized the true extent of my “Junie B. Jones Effect”--literature was so powerful that its message could extend beyond its intended audience. A good piece of literature is one that everyone can take something from, like Junie B. Jones or To Kill A Mockingbird, and a good reader is one that uncovers that deeper meaning. By eighth grade, I had already determined that I was a good reader; it was now a matter of becoming a good writer.
It’s been four years since my mindset about reading was changed by To Kill A Mockingbird, and since then, writing has been anything but the same easy discernment I’d made back then. It is messy, full of long school nights slouched against my desk struggling to find original evidence for an AP Lang essay, while simultaneously hoping to finish early and squeeze in some time to write for myself. It’s been a chaotic hopscotch of school and reading and trying to find the time to actually try out these writing techniques, only to come to the conclusion that writing is way, way more difficult than the seamless Barnes and Noble YA section makes it seem. I’ve grown to appreciate literature even more for that reason. Good writing is hard to find, but when you do, you’ll know, because in that moment, all you can feel is the intense connection between the author’s story and your own story. And today, that’s the goal of my writing as an English Literature major: emotion, vulnerability, and relatability.