Life Cannot Knock You Down by Celeste

Life Cannot Knock You Down by Celeste - April 2016 Scholarship Essay

With my heart pounding and barely able to breath, I peered around the corner of our apartment door. Looking at the superintendent and several other strange men, the tide that ebbed and waned in my stomach as a barometer of impending storms rose like a tsunami, made me feel as though I were drowning. The strangers entered our home and carelessly threw its contents, everything we owned, into cardboard boxes. I remember the sensation of feeling so unsure about what would happen next that it was like trying to stand on a boat in rough water. As my mother lurched from one box to the next, it was clear to me that she felt caught in the eye of the storm, too. At thirteen, I didn't know much, but the process of being awaken into reality became my life jacket. From that day until my 17th birthday, I lived in a shelter. And, on that day, I promised myself that I would learn how to ‘swim’: I would learn how to be self reliant, resilient, and learn to navigate my own course in this ocean of life.
The experience of being evicted is a powerful one that has impacted the lens through which I view my world. Being denied my home, being made to feel invisible, and feeling as though I did not have a voice challenged my sense of who I was, and who I wanted to become. As I saw it, I had two choices. I could give in to the seemingly insurmountable hardship that defines growing up in a shelter, or I could use the strength I had developed to get through each day and build a better future for myself. The combination of living in the shelter and coping with the constant verbal and emotional abuse by my mother could have broken me, but instead, it made me a strong. It strengthened my determination to change the course of my life and not follow the course navigated by my mother. Although I had developed the tools and had determination, I was like a builder without a plan. I needed an architect to help design the support system that would support my success.
My world changed when I joined the Rites of Passage Program through Brotherhood/Sister Sol. The Rites of Passage Program has guided me throughout high school. I have learned how to become a woman, a sister, and a leader. Each week, as I walk into our meeting, I feel safe, nurtured, and loved, On the Sister Sol walls are posters titled: Love, Friendship, Abuse, Death, Poverty, and Fear. These are topics we bravely work through together. With my Sol Sisters, I tackled them all, even the hardest one for me, ‘abuse’. With the support of my Sol Sisters, I have been able to explore my complicated relationship with my mother, share my story of abuse, and feel empowered to grow beyond it through knowing that I am not alone. With the support of the community I found through Sister Sol, I have experienced unconditional love. I have had the support I needed to excel in my education, and have harnessed my resilience to help others. The Rites of Passage Program has helped me acquire more than one lens with which to view the world. Through international experiences and meaningful community engagement, my view is now both wide angled and macroscopic. Traveling to the Dominican Republic, Haiti, Ghana, and Brazil to help those less fortunate than myself and then returning to make an impact in the lives of others in my own community through NYC Council’s Young Women’s Advisory Board has illuminated for me just how powerful one young woman can be as an instrument for positive change. My Harlem upbringing is not a weight tied to my ankle that can drown me. My Harlem roots are like a spring board, off of which I will confidently plunge into the water of life, because I have learned how to swim. Adversities are the waves in which I have perfected my strokes: they are nothing I cannot handle. With the support of my Sol Sisters, I have learned to push myself, to seek my true potential, and to share my passion for life with everyone around me. Though I grew up in poverty, nothing about my character is poor. I am rich in ambition, optimism, perseverance, and intelligence. Just as my past has inspired me to chart my own path to success, it too, will inspire other young people in New York City who face overwhelming odds.