A fraction of fresh air by Calli

A fraction of fresh air by Calli - January 2022 Scholarship Essay

At the start of the school year, of 2021, my life had been in disarray. Things in my personal life and at home, it was all kind of an unsteady blur. My mom had just moved out of state without as much as a goodbye. It had all happened in the blink of an eye. We had just come back from my fathers house, with moving boxes scattering the room we once knew and an address settled neatly on the coffee table. Needless to say my sister was furious when my mother arrived. Yet all I could do was stare in shock. My words caught in the back of my throat, a sense of overwhelming numbness crowding the anger and sorrow. Till this day I still can’t entirely process that she really isn’t there for us. We can’t just drive over and give her a warm hug, which causes a lack of comfort deep within me.
Besides this dilemma, the last couple years I had been surrounded by toxic people. Everyday was a constant struggle to please them at the sacrifice of my own happiness. They had told me they needed me and begged me to stay. I had become so tired mentally trying to keep others afloat, that I was drowning myself. This past year was where I had finally stepped back and realized that this wasn’t something that I had to continue. That I could end the cycle and everything would be okay. No more of being used as an object, unable to express my own feelings.
The year 2021 was a time of growing and maturing. A time where instead of constantly worrying about social matters, I could focus on my studies. Focus on a future that I wanted, with whom I wanted it with. During this time the most important skill I learned was how to put myself first. Something many people struggle with in life. Being able to finally push past the worries. It overall not only helped me feel free from what seemed like an unshakable pressure but allowed me to focus on the career I want. With the help of the positive influences in my life I was able to push myself. Not only in school but in other experiences in life. For example, getting a job and learning to drive. Things that I thought were so very far out of reach.
It is thanks to this breakthrough in my social life that led me to my success this past year and the start of 2022. I plan to grow more successful academically and to continue to take on the hardships life throws at me. With a clear goal in mind, I will be able to accomplish my academic goals, along with personal ones on the way.