Fixing Nothing of Value by Bryant

Fixing Nothing of Value by Bryant - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

Trying to fix everything will often lead to nothing getting fixed. As clichéd as it sounds, it was definitely something I needed to hear growing up: just doing my best to improve myself was more than enough.

Growing up in a household shaped by financial issues and emotional unpredictability, I constantly felt like I had to be the one to hold everything together. My mom’s gambling addiction created chaos that seeped into every part of my family's lives, from heated arguments late at night to random episodes. As the oldest child in an immigrant household and the only one who fully understood what was going on, I stepped into the role of an adult far earlier than I should have. I handled chores, cared for my younger sibling, and tried to manage what little money we had, all while pretending things were fine when I was at school.

Back then, I thought that if I worked hard enough, stayed strong enough, and made no mistakes, I could somehow fix everything. I believed that being perfect, earning good grades, and staying quiet would protect my family from falling apart. But that mindset came at a cost. I carried guilt when things went wrong, even if it had nothing to do with me. I ignored my own needs and hid my struggles, thinking vulnerability was a weakness.

If I could go back and speak to that version of myself, I would allow myself to be tired, to be scared. And most of all, to ask for help. I did not realize then that growth does not come from doing it all alone. It comes from being honest, setting boundaries, and accepting that progress can be slow and messy. Over time, I learned to communicate more openly, to seek support from trusted adults like teachers and counselors. I realized I did not have to erase my struggle to succeed; I could succeed because I understood struggle.

This advice has reshaped how I view my future. I’m now pursuing a career in accounting and finance, not just for stability, but because I want to help immigrant families like mine who have faced financial distress. I want to be someone who shows others that hardship doesn’t have to define your future.

Looking back, I know I can not change the past, but I can shape how I carry it forward. My advice would be a reminder to show myself the same compassion I tried to show others.