Defeated to Revived by Brittany

Defeated to Revived by Brittany - June 2016 Scholarship Essay

There is always failure present. It waits lurking and searching for someone, anyone who it sees that is weak and can easily be taken down and devoured. Often times failure can break you to your knees, but it’s up to the individual if they are going to keep moving forward or allow themselves to be a victim of defeat. This is something I delt with during my junior year of high school and eventually learned how to overcome it in a few ways.
Now, I’m not going to lie and say that I quickly had my eyes opened and then spent the rest of my school year in peace. No, it was a crazy ride that I can say stretched me in so many areas of my life. During my junior year I took four advanced classes that required so much of me. Beginning the school year I didn’t realize what the year was going to hold except for the fact that it was going to be hard. From the start of the school year to the end, every week was a real struggle for me because I saw every day as a giant that I had to overcome. The days were so routine and I constantly felt that I was so enslaved to homework; my body was always exhausted because of the routine, late night studying I would do and still come to find out a few days later that I failed the test that I had prepared so much for. Test after test I was constantly disappointed with myself, even if I didn’t fail. I was hungry for success, but didn’t seem to please myself no matter how hard I tried.
Eventually school began to take a toll on me and I began to listen to the lies inside of me saying, “You’ll never be good enough, no matter how hard you try.” As a result of this, I started to believe that I didn’t like myself and felt that I was living in such misery that seemed so inescapable. Late at night the lies would start up again and try to convince me that the only way out of this misery and hopelessness would be to not be alive anymore. Every time when this thought would come into my head, it hurt me deeply that I would even think like that. I had never dealt with thoughts like these beforehand. However, immediately after this idea would arise, I felt that God, Jesus Christ, reminded me what my purpose is on this earth- that there are people in society that are in need, and with the gifts and abilities that have been given to me, it is my job to help those people out. He reminded me that my life’s purpose is not for my own, but to make an impact on others around me.
Additionally, I realized to not let defeat overcome me. Even when I made a B, when originally I wanted an A, I began to see that failure is inevitable, but how I deal with it is in my control. I could either continue living as a victim or I could choose to become a victor. You see, if I didn’t change my perspective on the way I viewed failure, I would have still been a slave to it and allowed it to affect me in so many areas. When an individual doesn’t see their mistakes as a factor that they can learn from, they allow it to impact them not only presently, but also in their future. After, I kept pushing through with persistence and endurance in my academics, I began to see results and saw my grades rise from C’S and B’S to A’s and B’s. I learned to keep my eyes on the end goal, to keep focus on the task that must be achieved. When I encounter the distractions of the world, I must not be wavered, but must be rooted firm in my foundation so that I can remain strong through the tough times in the storm. Someone once said, “It’s not how hard you get it, it’s how hard you can get it and keep moving forward.”
In conclusion, although this school year had several storms, I grew as an individual and learned gained many new insights that helped me get to the finish line. I began to see my life as something that was bigger than myself and also learned to keep my mindset focused. When troubles came, I learned to not be preoccupied with them, but to try to see the bigger picture.