How Families Fall Apart by Brigham

How Families Fall Apart by Brigham - July 2013 Scholarship Essay

            When I first read Things Fall Apart by Chinau Achebe, I was initially dismissal of the central message of the book.   As taught by my teacher at the time, I took the story as being about the loss of African culture due to European colonialism, and felt that Achebe did a horrible job of making the point; I did not see much nobility in the customs of Okonkwo’s tribe, or in Okonkwo himself for that matter.   However, since the time I read the work, I have served my own mission (much like the characters in the novel) and had a chance to see the principles that found a good home, and the ones that destroy it.  Perhaps by design, I have found that much of these principles are found and taught in Achebe’s novel.
            Okonkwo’s family takes center stage in the story of Things Fall Apart, and a major concern he carries throughout is how to pass his values down to his children.  His motivation to do this, however, comes from fear; he fears inheriting his lazy father’s reputation, fears being “weak,” and fears his children (particularly his oldest son, Nwoye) will become like his father.  This fear rules him and dominates his relationship with his family; his fear of weakness causes him to be cold and distant towards his children, and his belief that Nwoye is weak causes him to abuse the boy repeatedly.  Unsurprisingly, Nwoye never finds satisfaction in his home, and defects to the Christian faith.  This mirrored events I saw on my mission where, in virtually every case where parents, reacting out of fear, punished children for choosing a divergent lifestyle, those children embraced it all the more and became estranged from their families.
            Furthermore, the story of Okonkwo’s family shows how different children have different needs, even within the same family.  Nwoye was the only one of his children to join the Christian congregation; none of their other children were as dissatisfied with their situations in life.  Okonkwo, sadly, chooses to see Nwoye’s different needs as weakness and fails to adapt his approach to his son.  He only needed show his son genuine love and compassion, and there is a chance that Nwoye’s loyalty would have returned to his father and he would have stayed.  Okonkwo never realized this, and the two became permanently estranged.
            In addition to showing what weakens our families, Achebe takes time to show what strengthens them.  Uchendu, Okonkwo’s uncle, receives the latter warmly and gives him sanctuary when his family is briefly exiled from their home in Umuofia, offering his nephew love, support, and counsel.  There is also the example of Mr. Brown, the first missionary mentioned in the area, who took a passive approach to proselyting and was respectful of the natives’ traditions and beliefs.  While his success was marginal, he was still making progress, and had a relatively good relationship with the local people.  This contrasts greatly with his successor, Reverend Smith, whose zeal and uncompromising ideals caused conflict and destroyed his relationship with the local tribes. 
            It will always be true that Things Fall Apart is, first and foremost, about cultural imperialism and the effect it has on people.  What I have come to appreciate about it, however, is the case it makes for mercy, love, and tolerance.  The greatest struggles the characters faced always came from their own mistakes, from their own tendencies to judge and abuse.  Those who were kind, compassionate, and understanding (like Mr. Brown or Uchendu) were always a strength and support to their households and communities.  These are principles I have learned are necessary to having a happy family, and why, long after I originally read the book, I consider it the best work I read in school.