Advice to My Younger Self Essay _ Brian Palomo by Brian

Advice to My Younger Self Essay _ Brian Palomo by Brian - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

If I could sit down with my younger self and offer just one piece of advice, it would be this:
Have more confidence in yourself. Don’t assume that just because childhood was hard and
people often seemed cruel, that the rest of life will be that way too. At that age, we’re all
awkward, and some of us lash out to avoid having our own flaws seen. You’ll hate parts of
yourself, your hair, your nose, your body, and some things you can change, some you can’t.
But the sooner you stop letting those insecurities hold you back, the better your life will be.
Childhood trauma lingers, but learning to be comfortable in your own skin helps you grow
past it.

We’re all awkward at that age. The ones who thrive are the ones who figure that out early.
The world doesn’t always operate by playground rules, and not everyone is out to tear you
down. Carrying that early fear into adulthood will only hold you back.

I’d tell myself that shyness and self-doubt will keep you quiet in moments when you should
speak up. You’ll miss chances to ask the questions that matter, not because you lack
intelligence, but because you’re afraid of looking dumb. That fear is rooted in early
experiences, when speaking up got you teased or shut down. But that was just childhood
cruelty, often fueled by other people’s own awkwardness or fear of being seen. They lashed
out so the spotlight wouldn’t land on their insecurities. You internalized that dynamic, and
it made you quieter than you needed to be.

But there’s a balance to this lesson. Your younger self isn’t just silenced by insecurity,
you’re also shaped by inexperience. As you grow, you’ll look back and cringe at who you
were five years earlier, and that’s not shameful, it’s proof that you’ve grown. But if you let
your ego convince you that you’re wiser than you are, if you avoid risk, questions, or
feedback just to protect a fragile sense of self, you’ll stagnate. Confidence doesn’t come
from pretending you’re never wrong. It comes from trying, failing, adjusting, and not being
afraid to go through that process again and again. That’s the kind of confidence that lets
you live free and ambitious, because to truly know what could have happened, you have to
be the one who did it.

It’s not uncommon for a boss to land the job just because no one else stepped up, not
because they were the most qualified. People are people, and everyone is capable of
making mistakes. Titles don’t make people infallible—and some people just aren’t that
thoughtful or capable. They might do what’s expected, but still lack the depth of thinking to
consider context or consequences. You could have a doctor misdiagnose you because they
didn’t sleep the night before, a police officer act unfairly because they’re dealing with
personal issues, or a teacher who got into education because they love school, not
because they care about kids. And it’s even more common to see people default to situation A equals solution A, without questioning whether it fits. You might be thinking
about nuance, about the outlier cases that require deeper questions and clearer thinking.
Before you start assuming everyone else has it figured out, remember this: the people in
the room may be just as lost or confused, and it might not be their fault, it could be that the
presenter left out important context, or you're missing details that were never clearly
explained. You are your best advocate. Staying silent to avoid embarrassment will cost you
more in the long run.

So ask the question. Don’t assume silence is safer. Speak up. Take the risk of looking
curious rather than stay silent and confused. You’re not the only one who needs
clarification, you’re just brave enough to admit it. Over time, that habit of asking, learning,
and rephrasing things in your own language will become a superpower.

If you let doubt stop you, someone else will take the opportunity, possibly someone far less
capable. And it’s even worse when that person turns out to be a poor leader who makes
your job harder, not easier. You might think you’re avoiding stress by saying no, but in reality,
you could be creating more work and frustration by allowing someone unqualified to lead.
I’ve turned down promotions out of self-doubt, only to watch less experienced people step
in and complicate everything. That hesitation doesn’t protect your peace, it delays your
progress.

Growth doesn’t come from hiding, it comes from trying. Stepping into a challenge, even
when you feel unprepared, is how real confidence is built. Learn on the job. Make mistakes.
Keep showing up. You won’t regret stretching yourself. But you might regret standing back
while someone else stumbles through the role you knew you were capable of doing better.

As you gain experience, you’ll start to recognize what’s realistic, sustainable, and ethical.
That clarity makes it easier to push back on unreasonable expectations, whether they’re
coming from others or from yourself. You’ll learn to speak with confidence and advocate for
better decisions, not just for your own sake but for everyone involved. That alone can
reduce stress, ease guilt, and bring sanity to situations that would otherwise spin out of
control.