The Benefits Of Knowing Yourself by Brandon

The Benefits Of Knowing Yourself by Brandon - April 2016 Scholarship Essay

I remember leaving middle school with that common mix of relief and dread. I was leaving as an older, wiser and more experienced teen. The dramatic physical changes between sixth and eighth graders can give the graduating class a false sense of maturity. Yes, we were much taller, stronger and hairier than a bunch of eleven and twelve year old kids. Most of us had experienced our first serious relationship, or so we thought. We were beginning to have more freedoms at home. By then, everyone had their own cell phone. However, as much as the younger kids looked up to us, we were all feeling the same tinge of fear. In a few months we would be going from top back to bottom in the adolescent food chain of life.
As high school began, I began to see around me a ripple of angst. More and more of my friends seemed to be less and less themselves. Long lasting friendships began to disintegrate. I saw people acting in ways they hadn’t before. Some tried smoking or drinking. Some began to have sex. Many seemed to re-prioritize their lives. The confident, fun loving, positive people I knew suddenly weren’t. That first year turned out to be a kind of boot camp for who we would become. Those who made it through went on to achieve. We got to enjoy our high school years. Those that did not make it through successfully, became addicts or loners or just generally miserable. They missed out on so much. It was sad.
What made the difference was self-awareness. Those kids that entered high school with a strong sense of self and a commitment to make their decisions based on their own values and beliefs succeeded. Those who allowed others to make decisions for them, to lead them away from who they truly were, failed. They may not have flunked out, but they lost themselves along the way. That can be hard to come back from. It takes a lot of time, energy and determination. Unfortunately, those four years fly by. There is no do-over for those years.
As you prepare to enter high school, I advise you to take a hard look at yourself. Figure out the kind of person you want to be and decide now to commit to becoming that person. I know it can be hard. At that age, you probably don’t really know what career you want to have or college you want to go to. You don’t know the kinds of problems you will face in the next few years, but you do know that uneasy feeling you get in uncomfortable situations. Avoid those situations. If you find yourself in one, trust your instincts. Get out fast. You know the people that make you happy. Figure out why. Most likely, it is because they get you. You can laugh at the same things and cry together too. Hold on to those people. And if you can’t, try and remember the feeling those friendships gave you. You felt safe. You felt relaxed. You didn’t have to pretend to be someone you weren’t. Look for new friends that give you those same feelings.
Understanding yourself will give you so much strength in the years to come. You won’t be tempted to do stupid things. You won’t need to chase acceptance because once you are happy with yourself you won’t need to waste time looking for others to accept you. Trust me; you will attract others like you. Emotionally secure people can recognize other emotionally secure people. Strong people will not look for others to make them look cool; they are cool in their own way already. Living this way will free up so much time to do what you want. Be who you want to be. When you eliminate bad choices on pride and principle, you open yourself up to so many more choices you might never have seen. You can have your own thoughts, opinions and interests independent of the draining weight of insecurity. Believe in yourself. You are already all you need to be. You just need to learn to recognize who you really are.