The Strength of Self-Reflection by Billie

The Strength of Self-Reflection by Billie - January 2026 Scholarship Essay

“I’m right, I’m always right!”
The growing ego, rooted in youth, festered within me. I wasn’t right, and a lot of times I fabricated the truth. I wanted to be an adult so badly, and I thought adults knew it all. But, nobody knows it all. It’s just that adults have had more experience in admitting they were wrong, growing and learning from it. Or, that's at least what we hope.

When I was younger, I was egotistical about a ton of things, but one major issue that seeded arguments was canoeing. It’s laughable, really. I thought I knew EVERYTHING about canoeing because my minimal experience with kayaking filled me with so much confidence and arrogance. I spent many of my summers at camp. Because my parents felt it was important to engage in the wilderness, through a variety of outdoor activities, including canoeing. Boating for two was bi-functional, it forced young kids to use communication and teamwork skills while being in the great outdoors. But the problem arose when I didn’t want to communicate. Instead, I wanted to be right. I wanted to be this warped image of an adult. I wouldn’t listen when I was the cause of spinning the boat in circles. I would blame others when the boat flipped, from my unbalanced youth. Because of this, it brought about arguments with the other camp kids.

I’ve been unraveling the tale of how canoeing has negatively impacted me, but it also allowed me to grow. Canoeing helped me realize that I should take a minute to think about whether I am actually right, or whether I am just getting defensive because I want to be right. Now when I canoe, I feel a little prickly. Then the prickles turn into stings. Bees stinging me from the thoughts in my head, throwing me back to unbalanced youth, feeling like I haven’t changed. But changing is not an overnight process. Looking back from where I started, I’ve grown, from a hostile bee into a prickly pear, just ripe to enjoy. This helped guide me to become a more humble person. Canoeing has also shown me how to improve my teamwork skills. It has allowed me to hear others' ideas and not just interrupt them with my own. It has allowed me to take a step back and see people as actual humans that have their own lives, thoughts, opinions. That they are not just a Non-Playable Character(NPC), only there to interact with me.

When I am paddling through the water—alone or alongside others—I feel like I am secluded from society. It feels good to be in nature and not worry about if I’m right or wrong. Nature doesn’t judge; it cares about simply existing. There will always be beauty in knowing that nature will forget my pettiness as a child. As I transition into adulthood, I am an ever-growing tree; rings wrap around me, cover the old, but never killing. You will see my honest bare limbs; my budding new truths; my flourished life; my colorful past, changing every season. And when I eventually get chopped down, you will see the rings of my life.