To Ask For Help by Behanka

To Ask For Help by Behanka - August 2022 Scholarship Essay

To ask for help. Or at least that's what I told myself when my mother would ask why I didn't ask for help. Ever since I was ten years old, I have taken the " mother role" of caring for others, especially my siblings. That is, ever since I immigrated to America to live with my mother. My mother worked multiple part-time jobs so there would be food on the table, clean clothes on our bodies, and carry the necessities we needed as children in life. Consequently, I never recall seeing much of my mother for most of my childhood. So whenever she would come home, I would be at school and vice versa—for my mother, taking care of us while working became unbearable.
I vividly remember this day. The day my mother was ill due to being overworked. I was kneeling on the floor beside her bed, holding her hot tea. She lay on the bed with a damp cold white towel on her forehead as she shivered under her blanket. " Tu sais pourquoi je fais ca pour toi ma petite jolie fille?" ( Do you know why I do this for you, my small beautiful girl?) questioned my mother as she continued to shiver under her blanket. " Je sais," ( I know) I anguishedly responded. That day, while kneeling on the floor next to my mother's bed, there was one thing I learned: to always help my mother in any way I could.
It started with small tasks such as washing the dishes, folding the laundry, and helping my siblings with their homework. Then it became doing the family laundry, helping my mother comprehend government document-related papers, and staying up late at night doing homework because I had to run errands my mother asked me to complete. By the age of sixteen, the year when every teen receives their license, dreaming of traveling far on fun trips with their friends, my license served one purpose only, which was to help my siblings reach their destinations. So I managed to carry a mother's weight before becoming a mother myself. I did it all. All without asking for help.
At school, I find myself attempting to learn new materials without asking for help from my teachers. This intense devotion to doing it all costs me almost my entire Junior year of high school, the year that college pays the most attention to. I struggled in the subject I knew needed help the most, math. That year I ended up receiving my worst first grade. I nearly gave up. I thought if I couldn't pass a simple math class, then I must be stupid. I told myself that I didn't deserve to take a high-level course of math class next year. Once I told my guidance counselor that decision, he was appalled. He demanded that I take that class and learn to ask for help because he knew I was a strong worker. After some resilience, I considered it.
The following year, with the help of my new math teacher, I excelled a lot in my math courses. I received the Uconn Credits from the University of Connecticut ( Storrs). I was beyond proud of myself. I realized that asking for help does not mean you're " stupid" or can't do it; it means using your resources to succeed better. Even people like me, who I have helped others my entire childhood, need help too.
In truth, I never regretted taking the " mother role" for my siblings because it taught me the value of helping others while forming a stronger bond with them. However, being that I can learn to help others, I should also know to help myself so people can help make a difference in my life to succeed.
The day before I graduated, I wrote a " thank you" letter to those who have helped me. That day, as I wrote those letters, I learned one new thing: to use all the resources that my college will offer so I can better succeed in my chosen career.
Now I am an incoming freshman at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. I am majoring in biology and minoring in business. I have already joined Forsythe Grange Mentoring Program, where I will receive a mentor to help with my academics. This is just the beginning of asking for help.