Asking Questions by Aziza

Asking Questions by Aziza - July 2023 Scholarship Essay

It was 7th grade, and I walked into school with aspirations for the upcoming school year. I recently did some shopping to get all of my favorite school supplies, ready to sit down and get my deserved education. That year I took a class many consider advanced for my grade level, Algebra 2 and Geometry.

But this was no sweat because everyone at my school was required to take both Algebra and Geometry before the 9th grade, so I didn't feel any different, plus I had already taken pre-Algebra in the 5th grade and excelled at that, so I was practically a genius if you think about it. 

In that first class of Algebra 2, l sat there ready to learn, but something was different. The feeling of excitement disappeared and now I felt more intimidated than ever. I didn't know where this pressure came from. All I knew was that the air had shifted. The lights were dim, and the spotlight was on me because everyone's pencils were moving but not mine. The teacher moved swiftly and no one asked any questions. It's like they all understood the math we learned simultaneously. I was beyond surprised because I had so many questions and concerns. I felt completely overwhelmed by the pressure to keep up with the class.

As everyone's pencils moved across the page, I sat there still stuck on the first step of a multi-step solution. I wanted to raise my hand. I wanted to ask my question. The words I needed were ready to roll off my tongue, and the eagerness to ask that simple question was ready to burst forth. But I didn't. And I left my first Algebra 2 class with nothing to gain, no knowledge, just disappointment in myself. I failed to do the simple task students should always do in an academic setting, ask questions. I had struggled to understand the concepts and here I was expected to keep up with everyone else. It was an intimidating moment and I was certain I would fail.

And for the rest of my 7th-grade year, I took Algebra 2, not asking questions. So foolish of me not to do something that benefits me. I knew I had questions, and I knew I needed to ask them, but I was too embarrassed. Too embarrassed to admit that I was not like my peers and didn't understand everything the first time, afraid of what they might think of me. For the first time in a while, I was not confident in my math skills. At that point, I was ashamed because I felt beneath everyone. So I ended that year with an F on my report card in Algebra 2, requiring me to retake the class the next year. 

The 8th grade came. I got my class schedule for Algebra 2 again, while everyone else moved up to Pre-Calculus. I felt stupid. I felt like I didn't belong at school anymore. So I retook Algebra 2, full of shame and embarrassment. But I knew that this year had to be different. I had no choice. I was about to start high school and couldn't retake the class without repeating the whole grade or doing a summer session. So with a new goal, I raised my hand.

Finally, my hand went up.

I thought to myself “How stupid do I have to be to pose a question in a course I’m retaking?" That was the first time I asked a question in math class. I was surprised when the teacher recognized my effort. I slowly felt more confident in the class and asked more questions throughout the rest of the school year.

Later, I found out that during my 7th-grade year, most of the people in my class barely passed because they also didn't ask questions. Instead of the environment I imagined, where everyone just understood it the first time, it turns out that everyone was struggling. Everyone was just as afraid as me to ask questions. Intimidated by each other, we didn't realize that we all had something in common. Despite knowing our school is hard, we mistakenly interpreted its difficulties by thinking it was too low to ask for clarification, pushing the concept that we need to know everything at once.

In my experience, asking questions is better than ok. We should never be ashamed to ask questions. The more we ask, the more we can learn and understand. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

In 7th grade, being afraid to admit that I didn't understand the concepts at first, too afraid to ask questions, partially stemmed from what others would think of me. But what I learned later was that what others think of me shouldn't matter. This is because I’m there to get an education just like the rest of them, even if it takes me a few moments to understand. As I grew older, I became more conscious of how others perceived me. However, I needed to revert back to 5th grade, unafraid to ask questions.

My biggest academic failure turned out to be the most valuable life lesson I learned. And still today, no matter the setting, I always ask questions without shame. My biggest takeaway from this was that, in the end, I had to circle back to my inner child mindset to truly learn my lesson.