Azalea's Gap Year by Azalea

Azalea's Gap Year by Azalea - August 2019 Scholarship Essay

A gap year for many students is a break between high school and college, where students can travel, volunteer, work, take summer classes, or do other activities that they may enjoy before school starts. If I had a gap year, I would make the most of it by joining some type of teen organization as a means of adding to my resume and giving myself something to do that I also enjoy. Plus, it also gives me a good story to tell.

Currently, I have spent my summer volunteering at the local public library, and the only thing that I hate about the job is that I'm not getting paid for it. If I had a gap year, then the library's Teen Council would be one of the many organizations that I would be a part of that would be implemented into my schedule. Although serving the lunch sometimes got boring when traffic got slow and fewer families would come in to eat, I really enjoyed being part of the Teens Leading Change project and participating in some of the events.

However, I feel like I would really make the most of my gap year if I were in a teen organization that focused on advocating for mental health or anti-bullying because these are campaigns that I am deeply interested in and care about. Schools especially need to emphasize the importance of self-care and mental health because even though perfect attendance is highly emphasized (schools earn more money where attendance is higher), students feel unhappy when they show up, and as a result, they tend to act out and cause problems for other students because administrators put attendance over mental health!

Throughout high school, I have come across classmates and other students with many mental disorders or challenges that they face such as depression, anxiety, anger problems, even autism spectrum disorder. Kids lash out at others and disrupt the learning environment because of poor anger management skills or too much stress that is placed on them by school staff or other students. Kids that roam up and down the hallways because they are unhappy with their classes. I myself have struggled with mental problems and suicidal thoughts that have gotten in the way of me being able to complete my schoolwork, but due to lack of mental health resources on campus, students still continue to suffer! Not everyone has access to a therapist, not everyone is willing to pay!

If students need to walk out of class because they are angry, depressed, or are going through extreme amounts of stress, then the teachers and campus aides shouldn't shame them, report them, or try to force them to stay inside because then the person will have to be forced to contain or release that negative energy in the classroom through harsh outbursts, snide remarks, or violent attacks in severe situations. If a student is going through problems in a class or is unhappy with their schedule, then the counselors need to work with that student to change their schedule so they will be happy. Stop scheduling all the hard classes in the morning BEFORE you serve breakfast, and instead schedule them AFTERWARDS because most students are least productive early in the morning and late at night, including myself. Also, stop expecting kids to come to school on time well-rested with a full stomach. Stop labeling suicidal or depressed kids as attention-seekers, because once they die or actually attempt suicide, all of a sudden you will wish that you had "saw the signs". Everyone preaches about academic excellence and optimal performance in school, but no one thinks about how mental health plays a role.

Although I graduated top of my class with a 4.3 GPA, I struggled with low self-esteem and suicidal thoughts ever since middle school. People would criticize me for being ugly in middle school and fat in elementary school. People would tell me to kill myself, that I was put up for adoption, and that no one likes me or cares about me. I would be left out of events and group hangouts and made a lot of fake friends that only spoke to me because when they needed a pencil or the answers to the test. I have been insulted, cussed at, yelled at, spit on, lied to, robbed, and put down. I have heard stories of kids who almost got killed by bullies in school or tried to attempt suicide. If I tried to talk about my problems, most people would victim-blame or tell me to "just forget about it".

This is why I regret not starting a mental health organization or a campaign to raise awareness about it in high school, but if I had the chance to do it now, I would.