My Decisions Affect ME by Autumn

My Decisions Affect ME by Autumn - July 2016 Scholarship Essay

*SMACK!*

Right in the middle of class while Mrs. Cadorini was mid-sentence, the boy in front of me hits his best bud in the head and everyone surrounding me starts to laugh. I admit, his response to the unexpected slap was quite amusing, so I joined in the hysteria. Whirling around to catch the scene, my teacher witnessed me re-acting the incident. I don’t think my teacher was too fond of jokes because I was moved from my favorite seat at the special high table and sent to a desk. A DESK! The most disbelieving part wasn’t that I was punished for another student’s violence, but that I thought Mrs. Cad was my best friend! I mean… I used to come to class late every day and get away with it. I would get candy even if I hadn’t answered any questions that day. Needless to say, my feelings were hurt and I decided the best way to respond to an undeserving seat change was to stop participating in class and sleep throughout an entire quarter. I did not deserve to be punished for that and I would show my teacher that I was upset. She would feel my fury through my eyelids! Yeah, that would really teach her not to mess with me.

Five years later, I can reflect on the situation and understand that I was the one to walk away with a lesson. My teacher was not fazed by my act of defiance. She continued to teach the class and allowed me to go from 96% to 83% because it was my decision. I learned that as a student, teachers give every student in the classroom the opportunity to learn, but it is up to us to receive the knowledge. From the first day I laid my head on that desk and closed my eyes during class, I made the decision not to learn, and she made the decision to allow me to hurt myself in the long run. My teacher did not lose a single thing in that situation but it my G.P.A that lowered, and it was me that did not know the answer to question 85 on the ACT because I slept through her teaching it on day 22 when I was still harboring anger over a silly reason. In a greater scheme of things, like life, I was able to apply this situation. I now understand that just because something does not happen how I may like it too, I need to deal with it and push forward for myself. My teacher taught me that holding grudges hurts no one but me. Things will happen that I don’t agree with or like, but it is up to me to accept the present and continue to smile. Since then, I have brought this up to my teacher and thanked her. I did not thank her for moving my seat because I still do not believe it was me that deserved to be moved; I thanked her for letting me make my own decision to be defiant and do what I thought was right at the time. Next time, I’ll close my eyes for a second maybe, and then I’ll pay attention because life is not fair, and I will only be hurting myself. After all… this is my life. The answer is not punish someone because they made you angry, the answer is not to hide because things did not go your way, and the answer is not to ultimately hurt yourself holding resentment. The answer is to forgive, grow and take the situation to make you better. That seat at the desk was closer to the front board and I have bad eyesight. My teacher put me a situation to better myself and earn even better grades, but I was stubborn and angry. This unintentional lesson has helped me with many situations and it will continue to help me as I try to find something positive in everything and let go of anything that upsets me. Mrs. Cadorini taught me something that I think is more important than knowing that “K” means Potassium.