Building Leadership and Trust Means Being True to Yourself by Austin

Building Leadership and Trust Means Being True to Yourself by Austin - April 2016 Scholarship Essay

Austin Robare

It is easy to look back and critique where my high school paths deviated and got off track. I was a freshman the first time I started to head down the wrong path. Being popular and fitting in were two priorities heading into high school. I was a varsity athlete who had been invited into an elite circle of “jocks”. I was also a scholar student who had learned how to earn the respect of teachers and coaches. On the outside, life was good, but on the inside I was battling with some pretty big self-doubt and anxiety.

My own insecurities and need to fit in started to influence my social behaviors, and ultimately changed the course of my high school career. As a freshman, my parents found out that I had attended a party and made some bad decisions. This did more than just upset them, it devastated them. They had such high hopes for me and had no idea what would lead me to do something so stupid. Although I knew the consequences, I was too weak to make the right choice. I wanted to be part of the senior group of athletes. The moment my parents found out changed everything. I was the straight A student, stellar athlete, and church school volunteer. My parents couldn’t understand where they went wrong and they stopped trusting me the way they once had. This was the worst feeling--- even worse than not being accepted by the “jocks”.

I continued to “follow” the crowd, and in consequence, I lost the friendship and trust that I once shared with my father- my hero and my role-model. He questioned everything I did, and his lack of trust in me killed me. I also have a younger brother who idolized me and I could see in his eyes, that I wasn’t his hero anymore. At the end of my junior year, I committed to making a change and to be the son and brother I knew they wanted me to be. I picked new friends and changed my mindset completely. Small changes led to big changes in the right direction and helped me rebuild my relationship with my dad.

I’m a senior now, and the captain of the school’s lacrosse team. My little brother is now on the team. He’s the “rookie” who wants to fit in with the “senior jocks”. Now, I get the opportunity to mentor him and to take the lessons I learned from my own days as a freshman on the team to mentor and lead in the “right” direction. I want him to know that being respected by your parents, your teammates, and your teachers is way “more cool” than the number of goals you score, the logo on your shirt, or how many parties you attend. To be truly memorable and popular, you need to be able to like yourself and the decisions that you’re making both on and off the lacrosse field.