Frankenstein and Fury by Audrey

Frankenstein and Fury by Audrey - October 2023 Scholarship Essay

Before I started my senior year of high school, I was given a list of the books we would be reading in my AP Literature class. I scanned the list excitedly, and though I was looking forward to reading them all, one book stood out to me: Frankenstein. I was elated. I’ve had an interest in the macabre all my life, and Frankenstein is a must-read for any who like the darker side of literature. I also had, and still have, a deep love and respect for Mary Shelley, who, at the time she wrote Frankenstein, was only one year older than I when I first read it. I knew from the start I was in for an exciting journey, yet I didn’t know just how deeply the novel would resonate within me.
My Literature teacher chose for us to read Frankenstein first, as we began to read from our list in October. It was fall, and the mood was set: dark, cold, and gray. There was hardly a more fitting time to begin this sepulchral novel. When we began to read it, I immediately bonded with the misunderstood character ‘the creature,’ often christened as ‘Frankenstein’ in modern media. I felt a deep understanding of him, as well as a sense of connection. Like the creature, I have felt misunderstood my entire life. Like I, he didn’t understand why he was not accepted by the majority of people he met. The townsfolk found him ugly and repulsive, and he had no idea. He didn’t know why they reacted with anger and fear at the sight of him, only that they did, and it made him upset. This is something I can relate with, though on a different level than the creature. Often the things I do are met with confusion and anger that I could not have predicted, and it catches me off-guard every time. I’ve never understood why I seem to stick out while others seamlessly blend in.
In a way, I felt that the creature exemplified femininity, despite being built to be male. I feel as though Shelley poured her own emotions into him-- surrounded by men and most likely misunderstood her whole life, rage at the unfairness of his treatment seeps through the text. This meant a great deal to me. Reading Frankenstein gave me a whole new lens to look at the world through. Some people, no matter what they’ve done or haven’t done, are simply made different, and people will react to them with confusion and disgust regardless of their actions, no matter how innocent or unassuming they may be. This happens often with women-- we are held to an impossible standard, balancing on a tightrope between two options treated as equally deplorable, and if we lean too far one way or the other, outrage erupts against us. This interpretation of the text gave way for a deeper connection to not only the creature, but the author, as well. Being girls of similar age, struggling with youth and womanhood, I felt I saw her, and understood her, as nobody did in her time.
Unlike some characters, the creature does not take this mistreatment in stride-- he reacts in an anger born from himself. Driven into a corner by his tormentors, he could access no emotion but rage. This feeling is also something I have felt. Sometimes after being downtrodden so many times, anger is the only vice to turn to. In this book I saw myself, and it changed how I processed my emotions. In the past I have suppressed my anger, labeling it an ugly emotion and tucking it into the back of my mind. Now I allow it to wash over me-- I allow myself to feel it, because if I push it down any more, it will come back out in a forceful wave that hurts more than it heals. And although, unlike the creature, I’ve never murdered somebody because of my anger, I think he was justified in his emotion. Abandoned the second he was brought into the world and scorned at every step he took, what could he take solace in but fury?
Overall, Frankenstein impacted me deeply on a personal level. At the end of the year before our AP exam, me and other students discussed the essay portion. I was shocked to find that everybody hoped they would be able to avoid writing on Frankenstein. I, on the contrary, was hoping only to write on Frankenstein, as I had not connected to any other book we read in class nearly as deeply or meaningfully. That was when I knew that this experience was all my own. Frankenstein changed the way I look at the world, and the way I look at myself. If I could go back in time, I would want to speak with Mary Shelley and tell her how much her writing meant to me, and that though she may have felt stifled and misunderstood in her time, hundreds of years down the road, there would be 18 year old girls just like her looking up to her as a beacon of understanding.