One Word About Why I Want to Attend College by Ashley

One Word About Why I Want to Attend College by Ashley - January 2018 Scholarship Essay

Alcoholism. When I think of why I want to attend college, get a degree, preferably multiple degrees and become successful, I think of my mother’s alcoholism and how is affected my life. It is easy to become who and what you want to be, with an adequate support system made up of family and friends who want to see you succeed. But what are you supposed to do when the person that is supposed to be your biggest supporter, does not support you at all? Being a teenage girl, although coupled with periodic fights, your mother should be one of your best friends. The opposite prevails in my household. With an alcoholic mother, it is hard for me to even get through a shopping trip, let alone an entire day, without having to worry about my mother’s “disease” and the actions that accompany it.
Going through life with a mother that suffered from alcoholism ultimately made everything I did more stressful. It lead to fights every time we were together and a chaotic household each time I stayed with her. I could not watch television, do my homework or even sleep because I had to take care of her. There were several points in time where I would go to school and wonder if I was going to come home and find my mother dead. How is a teenager supposed to focus on school, friends and sports when they have to worry about losing a parent? I was on my own, dealing with my mother's alcoholism and my personal issues as well.
Her addiction left me feeling as though I was alone, during the most crucial part of my life. Growing up without a mother figure lead me to figuring everything out on my own. She did not care what I got on my report cards, so I brought home straight A’s for myself. She did not come to my softball or field hockey games, so I played for the other parents that were there to watch their kids. She did not come to my school events, or any of my three honor society inductions, so I asked my friend’s families to give me a ride. Eventually, I got used to the feeling of being self sufficient, or at the least finding another means of help, and I think it had a pleasant effect on me. I have friends that are still scared to call the dentist to make an appointment, when I have been doing that on my own for years. Same goes for the doctor, or getting a job.
Little did I know, her problems ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me; the nights where she kept me up until three in the morning, when I had to call a friend’s parent because she forgot to pick me up from school, or even when the cops came to our house. In the long run, if she did not put me through all of that, I would not be who I am today. She solidified my desire to go college, graduate school and eventually give my children everything that she did not give me. I want to be everything that my mother was not.