"Comparison is the Thief of Joy" by Aoife

"Comparison is the Thief of Joy" by Aoife - April 2024 Scholarship Essay

When I was younger, my main motivation for anything I did was just to do it better than everyone else. To run faster, to dance better, to have better grades; whatever it was, if I was doing better than everyone else, I was doing alright in life. As early as elementary school, I have vivid memories of comparing grades, when they didn’t even really matter at that point, with other students and basing my progress on that alone.
In high school, like many others, I met someone named “Imposter Syndrome”, which threw a wrench in my perfectly composed system. Imposter syndrome didn’t care how well I was doing in comparison to my peers; that was simply a fluke, there were so many people that I didn’t know doing better than I was. Imposter syndrome told me that I shouldn’t be where I was, and that some day everyone would find out that I actually had no idea what I was doing. Imposter syndrome told me I should quit before I had a chance to fail.
I still struggle with imposter syndrome, and I think I will, at least to some extent, for the rest of my life. I’ve discussed it with many friends who have similar experiences, I’ve watched numerous TED talks about it, but I don’t think it’s something that one can just “get over”. If it does happen, I think it will take time and growth.
At the moment, I’ve been working on ways to alleviate both imposter syndrome and the comparison to others. Although it might have worked when I was younger and life was much simpler, the old saying “comparison is the thief of joy” could not be more true, especially in such a social media-based world as our own, where everyone’s achievements are published for the world to see. Lately, I’ve just been trying to focus on comparing myself to my past self. As cheesy as it sounds, I’m just striving to be better than I was yesterday. Focusing on myself has made a huge difference in how I approach things, both academically and outside of academics.
I believe it stems from the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Extrinsic motivation is temporary, fleeting, and won’t always motivate you. Intrinsic motivation comes from within, and I think you truly have to believe and want to do something in order to be motivated intrinsically, Intrinsic motivation is much harder to sway, and it’s something I strive for.
Overall, my main goal at the moment is just to work harder and be better than I was the day before. It’s been helping me stay focused on my long-term goals, and I’ve already seen a marked improvement in my grades just in the short time that I’ve adopted this mindset. Although I may not have it down right now, I’m going to work towards being free of imposter syndrome and being released from a comparison mindset.