My B Party by Annika

My B Party by Annika - April 2019 Scholarship Essay

When I was a sophomore, I took AP Chemistry. No, I campaigned to take AP Chemistry. I justified it and advocated for myself to be able to take the class as a sophomore. I appealed to my Physical Science Honors teacher, my school counselor, and my parents, and all of whom had to give me permission to take the class. The normal class track at my school is to take Chemistry Honors as a sophomore and then AP Chem as a junior, but I thought I was ready. I was a straight-A student. I was sure I was ready... I had no idea what I was in for.

No matter how much work, and how much time, I put toward this class, I could not get the results I was used to. This was my first B in school. I worked until 1am almost every night. I studied on weekends. I took copious notes. I asked questions. I stressed. I cried. I used effort I should have put toward my other classes. No matter what I did, I could not break through that barrier to earn better than a B. It may as well have been an F. I felt as though I failed.

My parents assured me, over and over, that a B in such a difficult class, at my age, was far from failing, and that they were proud of me. I still felt like I failed. I didn’t know how to get a B. I had never done it before. My school, and my classmates, and as it turns out me, are all very competitive. Whether that’s real or imagined, the stress from AP Chemistry affected my mood, my self-esteem, and the amount of pressure I put on myself. I was crumbling.

Then, my mother changed tactics with me: She had had enough of my pity party, and decided to throw me a “B party.” We were going to celebrate my B in AP Chemistry. We had brownies and butterscotch candies and bubbly water. We watched Batman. We had balloons and paper butterflies on the wall. It was cheesy, and it was wonderful.

My B Party helped reset my expectations regarding academic grades. My GPA does not define me. I recognized that I had to remove the pressure I put on myself, or I’d break. I accepted that I don’t have equal strengths in all academic areas. But, the most valuable lesson I learned was that there will be times in life when increased effort does not always result in increased results.

No matter what I did, a B was the best I was ever going to get in AP Chemistry. Now I’m in this situation, instead of beating myself up, I shift that wasted effort into more productive areas. I have more balance, now. I have more perspective in my junior year (and my classes are just as rigorous). I’m so much calmer and happier.

Earning that B as a sophomore was the best thing for me.