The Kingdom Where Everybody Dies. by Anne

The Kingdom Where Everybody Dies. by Anne - September 2018 Scholarship Essay

The scintillating sun caressed her smiling face within its rays; the wind whistled to the dancing trees, confessing secrets to its lover; and the azure sky held hands with the earth. In the streets of Paris, a poised woman promenaded with dignified strides. She wore a pastel pink pantsuit, with a lace bodysuit underneath; and white sandal heels. Her curls blew in the wind but tucked between her coils were small white flowers. Her flamboyant style was a tribute to her vivacious persona, and in her own words, “fashion is not an accessory for the youthful but an accolade to one’s truest self.” The woman never cried, nor stressed; she lived in equanimity. But she was not real.

As a little girl I lived in optimistic ignorance, and foolishly believed that adulthood was a metamorphosis from imperfection to perfection. I coped with my flaws by reassuring myself that they would slowly evanesce as I bloomed into a woman. But the flaws would never fade, and adults were not faultless, they were just impeccable liars. So, I no longer wish to be flawless, but to be completely and utterly flawed. Twenty-five years from today I will continue to learn and flourish by taking falls, and sometimes ending up hurt, or maybe I’ll even end up broken; but that’s okay. I will lose myself over and over and each time I’ll find different parts of myself.

I will find enlightenment within my profession. As a neuroscientist I will find errors and hit brick walls in my research; but eliminating fallacious results will only supplement my knowledge. I will find myself in the streets of Paris, in the deserts of Dubai, and in temples of China achieving enlightenment from people with ideas that diverge from mine. I will flourish in my beliefs by allowing others to contradict them, and this will determine how durable my beliefs are. I will find myself in my husband’s arms after every fight, and in my children’s laughter after every yell. Through the arguments we will strive rather than apart.

Discord often results in tears, agony, and self-loathe. But it’s also the fast-paced and exhilarating motion of falling, rising, and the jubilant rush of knowing that just once you had won a battle.