How I Will Become A Better Student by Alma

How I Will Become A Better Student by Alma - January 2016 Scholarship Essay

To begin with, I am not the biggest believer in new year’s resolutions. I believe that if one wants to better one’s self, they should not wait for an arbitrary date to do so. Betterment should be a year-round task. That being said, there is also a new semester and a “new beginning” in the horizon. This brings about new opportunity to fix the mistakes of last semester and a clean slate so to speak. As any college student can attest, we always being a new semester with good intentions but as the semester draws on, those good intentions fall to the wayside. As I am starting my second semester of college, there are a few methods I have come to realize work or do not work after my first semester.
As first semesters typically go, I had a fairly good first semester and even made it onto the dean’s list. During the course of the semester I failed very much so in some areas and I succeeded in others. I faced rejection in the truest form and acceptance. There were moments that I hit an academic wall and I woke up the next day, picked myself up, and tried to do better and there were days that I did not try to my fullest potential and I suffered because of it. There was no more of a humbling academic moment than when I studied so hard for a sociology test only to get a C on the exam or when I started my German course and completely struggled in more than I had ever experienced. With German, I quickly learned that I did not have an affinity for languages. Some people were born with an innate ability to pick up different languages and I most certainly was not born with that gift. There were trials and errors all along the way and I got pushed down so many times by the different courses I took.
In high school, I was able to succeed at every subject ranging from mathematics to literature but I learned during my first semester that that was not going to be the case in college. I was not prepared for that reality because I had never truly failed at anything. No matter what the topic, if I tried hard enough, I was able to succeed. I learned that it is okay to not know something and that I would fail at some things that I tried. It was just an entirely new feeling to be as smart as everyone in my classes because I had been so used to being one of the most intelligent people in the room in my high school. In college however, everyone was the most intelligent in their respective high schools, that is the reason they are all furthering their education. It was a humbling experience to have early on in college.
As I start my second semester, I want to carry over that principle with me. I want to accept the possibility that I could fail, that I could study very hard only to get a less than stellar grade and I want to be okay with that. Nobody has a talent for every subject and there is always someone better than you at something. That is not necessarily a bad thing. Every person has a talent. As a human race though, it is in our nature to want what we do not have because we do not like failing at something, even though as humans, we learn best from failures. I am a perfectionist and I realize that stems from my need for control. When I am failing at any task, to me, that means I am out of control, especially when I am trying so hard to be good at something.
Furthermore, I always aim to get all As. I believe that that is always a good goal to set at the beginning of every semester but I do not think that is everything. Nothing worth anything is easy to obtain. I do not do anything halfway and I believe nothing is worth anything without putting all of my heart into it. A grade should not define the person but there is the entire argument of while it may not define someone, it does define the amount of financial aide one can get if that person has a merit based scholarship. It is one of the thinnest lines to walk between caring and finding one’s worth with those grades. I typically go into the realm of my grades defining me but I have come to realize that while grades are important, it is also important to be well-rounded as a person and mental health should be at the top of my priority. I will never use mental health as a crutch but as the semester drags on, especially during finals and midterms week, mental health falls to the bottom of my priorities list which should never happen. No grade is worth destroying something as fragile as mental health. I want to become a better student by allowing myself to have mental breaks while still maintaining a studious attitude and work ethic. That is easier said than done however and it will be a fine line to work around this semester.