Making it through my junior year ! by Aliqua

Making it through my junior year ! by Aliqua - April 2019 Scholarship Essay

Growing up, I loved school. Getting good grades came easy to me because I enjoyed learning and excelling at new things. In my junior year at Centennial, things began to change. Upperclassmen always warned me junior year was the hardest time of their lives, but I tried not to worry too much--I felt confidently prepared. When I received my schedule for junior year, I saw that I had an Algebra II class taught by a teacher notorious for being the “hardest teacher in the school”, and that’s when I began to worry.
When I walked into Algebra II, familiar faces filled the room. As weeks went on and I noticed the number of students in my class decreased drastically. I became panicked: should I follow everyone else and drop out of the class before time ran out? Despite the stress of my failing grade, I decided against it, and soon after, I began thinking I made a mistake.
At the start of my struggle in Algebra II, I felt embarrassed and was compelled to hide my failure. Feelings of dread and depression washed over me and heightened every time I went to the class. I never felt like this about school before. Eventually, I became so overwhelmed it started affecting my health. Severe chest pains commanded my body. I was forced to visit multiple doctors who tried everything to find the problem--chest x-rays, asthma tests, Holter monitors--but tests came back negative. Despite this, I was still suffering from pain. Ultimately, when no doctor was able to physically diagnose my condition, my mother began a different approach: an emotional one. She asked, “How is school going?” Then, tears spewed from my eyes as I began explaining how stressed and overwhelmed I was. Until then, I had never realized how much this one class truly impacted me.
Until that moment, I struggled alone out of fear my mom would find out and be disappointed. I wanted her to keep being proud of me. I didn’t want her to think I wasn’t smart enough to achieve success or I wasn’t serious about education--I also didn’t want to admit it to myself. Finally opening up about it helped tremendously; my fears were calmed, and I knew I had her support. She taught me it was okay to ask for help if I need it because my support system would do everything to help me succeed. She quoted Sandeep Jauhar to me: “the only mistake you can make is not asking for help.”
After our honest conversation, we decided I should get a tutor. When I first met my tutor, I was terrified he would think I had no chance of keeping up and would tell me to drop the class. To my pleasant surprise, it was quite the opposite! My tutor was friendly and helped no matter how many times he had to explain concepts. The more tutoring I received, the more I realized if I was willing to ask for help and work harder in my most challenging classes, the higher my achievement would be. As the weeks went on, my grades significantly improved. I felt more confident in myself and my ability to succeed. My grades are directly related to how hard I work, and sometimes it means working more than anticipated. That was one of the hardest things that I had to learn, but I’m a better student because of it.
It is true Algebra II was harder than I thought, but my problem was not with the content: the problem was with myself. I didn’t want to accept my struggle, and I didn’t want to ask for help. Having one of the hardest teachers was a blessing; although I didn’t have the highest grade in the class, I had a feeling of accomplishment, and I am more prepared for college now knowing I can still succeed even if I stumble.