My Academic Goal by Alexandra

My Academic Goal by Alexandra - August 2022 Scholarship Essay

Okay, as soon as I get home, I have to get in the shower, make myself a meal, and get started on my homework: 3 pages of AP Calculus, read Chapter 18 in my U.S. History textbook, revise AP English essay, study for Biochemistry “proteins” quiz… Oh! And I can’t forget; I have to do a load of laundry, too.

My mind is fixed on tonight's agenda as I pull into my driveway at 7 P.M. If I wanted a goodnight’s sleep, I would have to be in bed no later than 11 P.M., but my shower routine will take me about 45 minutes, preparing and eating food will take another 20, and-

I’m exhausted.

I didn’t get much sleep last night. Plus, I had 2 tests today–nevermind that pop quiz–and a 2-hour game after school that, between transportation, warm-ups, and JV’s game, wound up consuming 5 hours of my afternoon. The long day I had drained my social battery.

Finally, I can recharge.

Post-shower, I make myself 4 scrambled eggs, whole wheat toast, and a handful of sliced strawberries. My phone draws me in as I eat. I try my best to catch up with my friends via Snapchat, see how my extended family is keeping busy via Instagram, and stay up-to-date with trends via TikTok. The ability to endlessly scroll holds a grasp on me. It’s a while before I realize I have wasted 45 minutes of my evening.

Shoot, I have to start tackling tonight’s tasks.

A load of laundry is shoved into the washer before I head upstairs. I prioritize my Calculus homework because I know it’s the most demanding, and I need to make sure I have enough energy to finish it. Next, I review flashcards for my Biochemistry quiz, but I’m only through a few before I get thirsty.

I deserve to take a break now anyway.

My “break” was barely that. In fact, the refreshing ice cold glass of water I had ended my night of studying, convinced me I should catch up on sleep tonight. My essay could be revised during my lunch period and my textbook read in the parking lot while I wait for the school day to actually begin. Besides, I knew enough about proteins to get a sufficient grade on my quiz.

I hated the next day. I felt like I couldn’t get a second to breathe, a second away from my books.

Why did I give up last night?

This series of events cycled throughout the entirety of my junior year. I consistently posed a forefront that was not only determined but also driven, yet at the back end of it all, I failed to achieve much of my days’ goals. My ambition for this coming school year is to maintain the tenacity with which I begin every evening, and I plan to accomplish this with forward thinking. While it is sometimes necessary to choose sleep or a mental detox over a homework page, it is not always in my future self’s favor to do so. My school days this past school year felt freakishly long as they were congested with practically-overdue assignments that occupied every minute of “free time” I could find. I was already spending class time working diligently, so it was unfairly draining to limit the amount of downtime I came by.

This school year, I vow to check each box on each night’s to-do list. I vow to remove distractions (ahem, my phone) from my work environments. I vow to form habits of self-discipline. Most importantly, I vow to choose my future self.