173 Days by Addyson

173 Days by Addyson - December 2022 Scholarship Essay

My life changed forever in June. After years of chasing my dream, in the span of minutes, it all came to a crashing halt. My good intentions, hard work ethic, and high standards landed me in the middle of the biggest setback of my life. One appointment, one doctor, one number, and one misconception rendered a real-life nightmare.

My dream took root at an early age when I realized I was blessed with the athletic ability to excel at sports, specifically basketball. I viewed every day as an opportunity to improve my skills. Driven to be the best and forsaking everything else, I strived for every advantage. I began to shoot more shots, dribble between tighter cones, lift heavier weights, run longer distances, and eat healthier and restricted meals to attain my Division One basketball scholarship goal. With the passage of time, in the name of “chasing my dream”, I gradually lost over thirty pounds and unconsciously starved my organs.

My weary, exhausted body finally forced me to come to a life-saving pause on the afternoon of June 2. On that day, Dr. Amy Middleman diagnosed me with one of the most severe cases of anorexia she had ever seen. I was immediately admitted to OU Children’s Hospital with heart, brain, and liver damage due to my eating disorder. For one hundred and fifty-three long, lonely, and painful days, I was confined to a hospital bed and allowed no physical activity! Being such an active and driven person, this “forced complete shutdown” was painfully challenging. Instead of days filled with activities, my hours consisted of wires, tubes, needles, monitors, tests, and many doctors and nurses. During my “prison sentence”, I was forced to eat more and placed under constant supervision. To make matters worse, my hospital stay was in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic, which prohibited visitation to only one fixed visitor and limited time with other patients and hospital staff.

My life literally stopped. However, every day as I laid hopelessly in a stale bed, helplessly ate at an empty table, and blankly stared out the same window, the world kept turning. My family sat down together for dinner with one empty chair, my sister had no shoulder to cry on, my friends laughed and made memories, my teammates played many basketball games and ran many circles around a track, and my loved ones experienced a life of abundance. Everything I had worked so hard for and enjoyed felt like it was destroyed and stripped away from me. I felt that my future was gone and my existence was no longer important/ had no purpose. My days were dark, and I fought back depression and anxiety with every breath I took.

Faced with the decision to either give up on life and my dream or battle through my struggles every hour of every day, I chose to fight. With the help of doctors, therapists, family, friends, and my Savior Jesus Christ, I gained a new perspective on life. My journey has led me to a balanced lifestyle and a realization that I have value and worth that extends beyond painted lines, two goals, and an orange ball. One hundred and fifty-three days revealed to me that skinny is not the standard, basketball is not worth my life, and perfection is elusive. My dream to become a Division One Woman’s Basketball player has not expired. I can still fulfill my seven-year-old vision. I continue to strive toward my destination, but with an altered motivation: To offer hope and encouragement to those who have lost ambition, and be a living example of a true overcomer, whether I become a Division One Woman’s Basketball player or not! I have now looked past athletics and want to pursue my other long-lived dream of becoming a veterinarian. My new hope is that I will leave a legacy in the veterinary field by running a practice that is successful and passionate about the care of animals. I strive to leave an impact so that many innovations will be created throughout my career as a veterinarian and contribute to the success of the profession.