Hold Onto People / The Sunrise by Abrianna

Hold Onto People / The Sunrise by Abrianna - September 2022 Scholarship Essay

If I could give one piece of advice to my past self, it would be to hold onto the people she doesn't want to lose. I know that it isn't easy advice to follow. Often, the people we are afraid to lose are the same people we are most afraid to reach out to. But I also know that she is strong, and she is brave, and the future she has ahead of her is brighter than any of the flickering anxieties that flood her mind.

She will have questions for me. "Did we make it out alright?" That will be the first. "Are we happy?"
"We are close," I will respond. "We are standing on the edge of the woods, and we can see the sky. The sky is about to burst into the most amazing sunrise, and I can't wait to see it." I want her to reach a point where she can see it, too, but with one key difference.

I don't want her to see it alone, and I tell her that. There are people I have known and loved, people I let go of far too easily. Don't let go, I will advise her. Hold on with all of your strength. Tell people that you love them, seize the precious moments before they fade away. Learn to stop caring about what the world thinks of you. I may sound like a hypocrite, because these are lessons that I never fully learned. But maybe we can both be better.

In the end, we both know that we were never meant to waste our lives on the shriveling fear that stalks behind us. We always knew that. Now, it's only a matter of putting that knowledge to good use. Now, I want that younger version of me to spend every single day showing herself and others just how kind of a place this world really is.

But she has advice for me as well. She tells me that I don't need to stand alone as I watch the sun rise on my new life. She tells me that it isn't too late to reach out to those around me. She lectures me on things she knows little about, with a certain childlike confidence.

But she is right. We were never alone, and we never will be. I have more opportunities than ever before, and I am coming to terms with being afraid. Maybe we will always be afraid. That doesn't mean we should deny ourselves the chance to be cared for.

I bid farewell to my past self. Every day, I will try to follow my own advice. I will learn to hold tight to the people I love, I will step into the best version of myself, and the sun will climb over the horizon.