Step By Step by Abigail

Step By Step by Abigail - May 2022 Scholarship Essay

In high school, I was a part of the drumline, and that quickly became important to me. I've always loved music, so to get to perform with others and compete against other drumlines was a dream come true for me. However, I've also always been on more of the shy and quiet side, afraid to mess up. The instrument I wanted to play was the tenor drums, so in my junior year, I auditioned. I could drum; that was the thing I'd been doing for years. The issue was that these drums are 65 pounds and when laid on one side, they came up to my shoulder. You can't see me from the other side of this essay, but at 5'2", I'm a relatively short person to be playing these drums. The next shortest person on the tenor line after me was 5'9". I remember my director pulling me aside at auditions and telling me, "You have the hands for it, but do you think you can carry them?" I didn't hesitate and told him a firm "yes". That summer, I worked on the warm-up packet and learned the music for the show we were going to play. I worked at holding the drums on my back to get ready for the season to start. When band camp started, I learned how to play with a group of people on this new, heavy instrument, as well as how to carry it with proper form. Every day, my body ached as I went home and I was sore the next day when I got up and did it again. I got better, but it was a slow process with mental ups and downs throughout that whole year, going back and forth between "I can" and "I can't". All of this happened just in time for quarantine to put all the progress I'd made to a grinding halt and I came to the conclusion, "Maybe I'm not great right now, but I want to be." The real issue was never the drums themselves, but rather my attitude towards myself that hindered a lot of that growth until it was too late. When I came back for senior year, things were better. I used the time in quarantine to sharpen my skills and learn how to do things that I couldn't the previous year. When I wore the drums, my back no longer hurt. I was more confident in my abilities. I was more confident in myself. I know I fell short the previous year, and I was determined to be better, always striving to get better. I think back to those two years with some disbelief. I think, "If I was able to train my body to do that, what can't I do?" The part I still struggle with is making my mind believe the same of itself. However, this was a milestone for me. This experience showed me what it was like to triumph over myself and push past previous physical and mental limits. It's something I continue to work on as I'm now in college, step by step.