Never Give Up by Abigail

Never Give Up by Abigail - July 2016 Scholarship Essay

My academic goal is to study fiber arts, early child education, art education, and special education. I plan to incorporate my interests and skills to become a literacy teacher for young children with special needs who don’t respond well to traditional teaching methods. Thanks to my early struggles with learning disabilities and mild autism, I have had many opportunities to overcome a variety of challenges. The most important lesson I have learned from my best teachers is to never give up.

Art has always been the most important aspect of my learning process because I connect deeply to information when I can stimulate my sensory processing system through the use of textiles, sculpture, painting, etc., in relation to whatever subject is in front of me. When I knit while listening to a lecture or reading a textbook (yes, I can knit and read at the very same time), I don’t need to take notes because I am able to fully integrate the information through my auditory system and make connections to old knowledge almost as if it were going from the teacher’s lips through my knitting needles and directly into my brain.

One thing that I think goes unnoticed though is the amount of dedicated preparation, countless hours, or conscious effort that goes into my weaving, knitting and crocheting projects. When people see the variety of styles, materials, sizes, and patterns of my uniquely created scarves, blankets, hats, wall hangings, rugs, and Jewish themed fiber artworks, they are usually quite impressed. But I don’t think they have any idea all that is involved in the process of going from an idea in the back of my head to a beautiful, ready to wear/hang finished product. They don’t understand that there were many steps involved in my creative process. I don’t think they realize how much doing and undoing of stitches is often required to get it just right, even by experts in this field...actually especially by experts. I don’t think they understand that I am able to do a certain complex series of stitches because years ago, I began perfecting the basic stitches that were the foundation for the development of more advanced skills. I also don’t think they understand that for me the rhythm, the motions, the choosing of colors that my eyes find pleasing, the use of structure within patterns or of my own creation, the feel of the textures involved, the thinking process before beginning to ever cast on the first rows are all vital to the completion of the end product. I doubt they understand that I am as thankful for the knitting as they are for the gifts of my labor because each part of the work is so personally therapeutic and soothing for me.

I know I am smart and capable, but I don’t always test well. Sometimes it takes me a bit longer to finish assignments and tests, but once I’ve got it, it sticks with me, meaningfully. My writing and spelling are still not great and I sometimes get numbers or signs mixed up in math, but with the help of a computer, a calculator, or a scribe, I can effectively get my point across on paper and figure out solutions to whatever problems I may face. I have become a voracious reader and find it easy to quickly comprehend and remember details that most people don’t notice. One teacher thought I had a photographic memory for things I have read, but I don’t think I do. It is just that I have had to naturally develop many compensatory skills, as a method of academic survival.

Each item I make sort of develops its own personality and style and there is a relationship, as my inanimate ball of yarn suddenly becomes alive with clarity of color, purpose, and meaning as each stitch builds upon the next into something of beauty and utility. I’m sometimes sad when I finish making something because I then have to say goodbye. It is almost like saying goodbye to a part of my soul because my soul is woven into the threads of each of my pieces of art. I don’t think most people fully get the love that is involved in the creation of art, nor the sense of both joy and loss in the giving of it to others.

As a direct result of my disabilities, I believe I possess many assets and unique talents that most teens lack. For example, I notice things that other people don't such as patterns, layers, and details. I know how to overcome frustrations because so much of my educational life has been very frustrating. I am self aware as a learner and had to learn early how to advocate for myself as I am the only one who can really explain what my brain needs in order to learn to my full potential. With my degree(s), as a future educator, artist, and literacy specialist, I can apply and integrate all of my strengths and challenges to positively impact the lives of generations of children and families for years to come, so that they too, will learn as I have, never to give up.