What Organ Taught Me by Abby

What Organ Taught Me by Abby - January 2022 Scholarship Essay

"Hey Abby, I told Mr. Lavery what you said about your wish to study organ, and he said that in exchange for your willingness to play for the church sometimes, he would be happy to take you on as a student!"

I was beyond elated at this news. I was a pianist who had long dreamed of learning how to play the organ, and now my dream would finally come true! I accepted Mr. Lavery's proposition in a heartbeat and began to fantasize about the many doors that organ would open for me.

I had been playing the piano for several years at this point, and though I certainly did not consider myself a pro by any means, I still thought that I had potential as a music major. I assisted in leading worship for my church and thought that I might enjoy carrying church music on into college and my career. I knew that organ was a skill that I would greatly benefit from, and besides looking at the career side of things, I simply adored the majestic beauty of sound that an organ brings to a room and the people within. I admired the intricate design of the hundreds (in some cases, thousands) of silver pipes and multiple keyboards both for hands and feet. The grand, mysterious theme of masterpieces such as "The Phantom of the Opera" were my jam. I could hardly wait to get started.

Mr. Lavery was my choir director, so I was already quite familiar with his style of teaching. I knew that studying with him would be no Sunday picnic, but I was still fairly confident that organ would be a breeze. After all, I was already a pianist of 6+ years—wouldn't I already have all the necessary keyboard skills to succeed?

Oh, how wrong I was.

I left my first lesson with my head positively spinning from new information. Some of what I had learned that day I had expected, but there was so much that I had not expected at all. I knew that organ was different, but I'd had no idea how very different it was from any other keyboard instrument in the world. I walked into that first lesson confident that organ was simply piano with a slight twist, but I left with a new realization dawning which whispered that perhaps it was more—much more—than I could have ever imagined.

One particularly humbling experience was when I realized that I did not have a natural knack for one of the most fundamental technical skills for playing the organ: the ability to hold down some fingers on notes while playing with other fingers on the same hand. I had done this sometimes in piano, of course, but the organ demands so much more of this capability from the player. "I just don't seem to get it," I remember admitting to Mr. Lavery. "My fingers get all mixed up and confused. I've done this before in piano, but I don't know why I'm having such trouble transferring those skills to the organ."

I quickly realized over the next few weeks that my hunch was every bit as correct as I had feared. Rather than my advanced technical piano skills shining through the moment I seated myself at the organ bench (which is what I had, more or less, expected), I felt like an absolute beginner with a grand total of zero experience every time Mr. Lavery asked me to do something. I'm not sure to this day how he felt concerning the matter, whether or not he had expected any more of me, but I do thank him for his patience with my initial confidence and hasty relapse into humility.

This experience has taught me several lessons. Oh, it taught me how to play the organ, of course, but it taught me so much more than that. It taught me that while confidence is a valuable characteristic, I must not let it get the best of me or prevent me from learning something new. It has taught me to approach each new skill, no matter how similar to something else familiar, with the same awe and curiosity of a child experiencing her first snowfall. It has taught me to realize that "Oh, maybe I'm not as perfect as I thought I was—yet. Maybe I still have a long way to go."

I don't mean that I (or you, or anyone) should put myself down or view myself as an absolute loser who can't do anything right. I believe that it is important to praise how far I've come and how talented I already am, but also to have a mind that is always hungry for more, always eager to learn what comes next, always willing to accept that sometimes, I am a beginner. Sometimes, I know close to nothing about the very subject I thought I had all figured out. Sometimes, I just need to broaden my narrow mindset and open my heart to the possibilities before me.

And that is exactly what organ taught me.