My Struggle by Abarar

My Struggle by Abarar - June 2016 Scholarship Essay

When a country faces a massacre, everyone is affected directly and indirectly, whether they know it or not. One massacre that has altered almost every person in the United States was 9/11. After 9/11, Muslims all around the country were treated poorly even by fellow citizens. I was a victim of this widespread ethnic abuse during my middle school years. Although 9/11 happened years before I was even in secondary school, the aftermath still lingered around me. The surviving middle school was tough because I was bullied for what I believed in. However, now that I am more mature and older, I realize that surviving my past was, in reality, a life changing experience and an accomplishment.
My middle school life was the hardest time for me. During that time, I was always targeted for being a Muslim. For example, I was called a “terrorist”; the kids who were bullying me thought it was funny and even made jokes about me being involved in 9/11. However, that wasn’t even the worst part: as I went into the seventh and eighth grade, I started getting physically bullied. There was a time when I got beaten to the ground in class. The students and the teacher didn’t even do anything to help me. Everyone, including the teacher, just watched as I was getting kicked to the floor and beaten to a pulp. Then they would leave right after the bell rang. This happened several times, and each time, I felt that I lost something.
I was already lonely most of my life because I couldn’t make any friends and the bullying just made it worse. I didn’t talk to anyone outside of my school because I kept everything to myself. Bullying had blurred my personality. I didn’t understand myself nor could I dream. I didn’t know what I wanted to do in my life. My grades dropped dramatically. I had no care if I had a 65 in all my classes, which I did. I didn’t have a single care in the world about my future. I was living in a state of depression and I thought that my life was pointless.
Despite my depression, deep down I have always had a resilient spirit. Both of my parents were always working, and my teachers were always “looking the other way,” and so I was alone. However, I have stayed strong throughout my suffering. There were times when I had thought that suicide was the only way. But, I never actually tried to commit suicide. Through my strength, I have realized that hope will come around. That understanding came to me when I started high school. High school was a stepping stone for the future. A few years later, I am here trying to make my dreams come true. I have come a long way from my depression and I have matured considerably, both physically and mentally. I have learned more about myself. I have survived, and I am here soon turning into an adult. This is my achievement. I have suffered for many years but in the end, I am alive. I have survived what many others could not.
In conclusion, I consider my bullying experience as a life-changing journey. I was tortured for my religion. I lost touch with the world and I just didn’t want to do anything with my life. At times, I thought that throwing my life away was the only alternative to freedom. However, I have survived the torment and sadness. My resilience and patience are what I carry throughout my life. Any situation I get involved in, I keep my spirits high even when everything is stacked against me. I have learned that if I stay strong in my endeavors, I will learn more about the world. Now I am here getting ready for college. The college life will be a crazy adventure for me. I can now live with an open heart and a free mind towards the future.