SAT Writing : Improving Paragraphs
Study concepts, example questions & explanations for SAT Writing
All SAT Writing Resources
Example Questions
Example Question #171 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment
1 What is to be done about the problem of shoplifting. 2 Small security devices hidden in the tags of expensive clothing, clearly posted signs vocalizing the penalties for shoplifting, and “spider tags” or wired alarm clips all measures that store owners can take. 3 However many can be removed turgidly with magnets, scissors, or other means.
4 Other solutions including using attentive employees, clear and wide aisles, security guards, and security cameras. 5 With self-checkouts, an additional degree of honesty comes into play. 6 Though, it might be more fruition to examine the motives for shoplifting, as more lugubrious social policies could prevent people from needing to shoplift in the first place.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 3 be rewritten?
However, many can be removed
However, many of these devices can be removed
However many of those devices could be removed
However many can be removed (no change)
However many of those devices that can be removed,
However, many of these devices can be removed
On its own, “many” is fairly vague. Clarify that we’re talking about many devices, and add the requisite comma after the introductory word “However.” "However" is a conjunctive adverb, and thus should be followed by a comma.
Example Question #3141 : Sat Writing
1 What is to be done about the problem of shoplifting. 2 Small security devices hidden in the tags of expensive clothing, clearly posted signs vocalizing the penalties for shoplifting, and “spider tags” or wired alarm clips all measures that store owners can take. 3 However many can be removed turgidly with magnets, scissors, or other means.
4 Other solutions including using attentive employees, clear and wide aisles, security guards, and security cameras. 5 With self-checkouts, an additional degree of honesty comes into play. 6 Though, it might be more fruition to examine the motives for shoplifting, as more lugubrious social policies could prevent people from needing to shoplift in the first place.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 4 be rewritten?
Other solutions include the use
Other solutions including using (no change)
Other solutions including the use of
Other solutions, which include using
Other solutions include using
Other solutions include using
Without a present-tense verb, the sentence is a fragment. Change “including” to “include.”
Example Question #173 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment
1 What is to be done about the problem of shoplifting. 2 Small security devices hidden in the tags of expensive clothing, clearly posted signs vocalizing the penalties for shoplifting, and “spider tags” or wired alarm clips all measures that store owners can take. 3 However many can be removed turgidly with magnets, scissors, or other means.
4 Other solutions including using attentive employees, clear and wide aisles, security guards, and security cameras. 5 With self-checkouts, an additional degree of honesty comes into play. 6 Though, it might be more fruition to examine the motives for shoplifting, as more lugubrious social policies could prevent people from needing to shoplift in the first place.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 2 be rewritten?
all measures that store owners can take. (no change)
all being measures that store owners can take.
having all been measures that store owners can take.
are all measures that store owners can take.
with all measures that store owners can take.
are all measures that store owners can take.
Without the addition of an active present-tense verb, the sentence is technically a fragment. Gerund, future tense, and past tense verbs correct the missing verb, but add a verb tense agreement error to the sentence.
Example Question #174 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment
1 Acoustics is a field of science that refers to the study of mechanical waves but it is best known for its relation to audible sound. 2 Acoustics has been a branch of human impunity since ancient Greece, Pythagoras investigated musical harmonies.3 Concert halls, headphones, car speakers: all are things that employ acoustical studies to electrocute listeners’ experiences. 4 Sound is not important to just humans; it allows birds, elephants, elk, and other animals to attract mates and defend their territories.
5 It benefits to understand sound waves and their behaviors, when engineers have this knowledge everyone from Roman amphitheaters to modern day punk rockers can enjoy a better listening experience.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 2 be rewritten?
Greece, Pythagoras investigated musical harmonies (no change)
Greece, but Pythagoras investigated musical harmonies
Greece, where Pythagoras investigated musical harmonies
Greece, and Pythagoras investigated musical harmonies
Greece; Pythagoras investigated musical harmonies
Greece, where Pythagoras investigated musical harmonies
The relationship between Greece and Pythagoras is one of location; Greece is where Pythagoras did his investigations. Use “where” to indicate this relationship. Since the main subject is Greece, a word connecting Pythagorus to place is required. "But" is used to indicate contrast, and does not make sense here.
Example Question #3142 : Sat Writing
1 Acoustics is a field of science that refers to the study of mechanical waves but it is best known for its relation to audible sound. 2 Acoustics has been a branch of human impunity since ancient Greece, Pythagoras investigated musical harmonies.3 Concert halls, headphones, car speakers: all are things that employ acoustical studies to electrocute listeners’ experiences. 4 Sound is not important to just humans; it allows birds, elephants, elk, and other animals to attract mates and defend their territories.
5 It benefits to understand sound waves and their behaviors, when engineers have this knowledge everyone from Roman amphitheaters to modern day punk rockers can enjoy a better listening experience.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 5 be rewritten?
behaviors, when (no change)
behaviors when
behaviors, or when
behaviors. When
behaviors but when
behaviors. When
Sentence 5 is a run-on, so the best option is to break it into two shorter sentences. Replacing the comma with a semicolon would also be grammatically correct, but when a sentence is this long breaking the sentence into two smaller, more concise sentences is often the best option.
Example Question #176 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment
1 Acoustics is a field of science that refers to the study of mechanical waves but it is best known for its relation to audible sound. 2 Acoustics has been a branch of human impunity since ancient Greece, Pythagoras investigated musical harmonies.3 Concert halls, headphones, car speakers: all are things that employ acoustical studies to electrocute listeners’ experiences. 4 Sound is not important to just humans; it allows birds, elephants, elk, and other animals to attract mates and defend their territories.
5 It benefits to understand sound waves and their behaviors, when engineers have this knowledge everyone from Roman amphitheaters to modern day punk rockers can enjoy a better listening experience.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 5 be rewritten?
when engineers have this knowledge everyone (no change)
when engineers used to have this knowledge; everyone
with engineers having this knowledge everyone
while engineers have this knowledge: everyone
when engineers have this knowledge, everyone
when engineers have this knowledge, everyone
“When engineers have this knowledge” functions as a dependent clause here, so it needs to be separated from the independent clause that follows with a comma. Think of it this way, "when engineers have this knowledge" could not be a complete grammatical sentence, but is functioning as a discrete phrase. In this is situation, a comma is usually required.
Example Question #177 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment
1 Lemon juice with cayenne pepper, cabbage soup, cookies, grapefruit. 2 What do these have in common?3 They are all key ingredients in recent fad diets; since these diets sound promising, few lead to any permanent weight loss.4 Some of the worst can even lead to health problems, such as, vitamin deficiencies or anemia. 5 Instead of being concerned with lasting weight loss, they are promoting radical changes that only last a short time. 6 Cutting out too many calories at once from your diet can lead to dizziness, heart palpitations, and even a slower metabolism.
7 Some thinkers suggest that fad diets are really a way for us to impose order on our chaotic world, hundreds of food choices, conflicting advice from various health experts. 8 So why diet at all?
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 7 be rewritten?
on our chaotic world, hundreds of food choices, conflicting advice from various health experts. (no change)
on our chaotic world; hundreds of food choices, and conflicting advice from various health experts.
on our chaotic world, food choices, and health experts.
within our chaotic world, our hundreds of food choices, and our conflicting advice from various health experts.
on our chaotic world, which includes hundreds of food choices and conflicting advice from various health experts.
on our chaotic world, which includes hundreds of food choices and conflicting advice from various health experts.
The latter two items in the list are really examples included within the first item, so rewrite the phrase to reflect this fact. The comma before "and" suggests that "conflicting advice from various health experts" should be an independent clause, and thus creates a comma error.
Example Question #178 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment
1 Thoreau went to them when he wished to live deliberately, Whitman wrote about them in his book Leaves of Grass. 2 They clean the air, and harbor wildlife. 3 There are nearly 200 million, protected acres of them in the United States. 4 Forests are a national treasure.
5 Since the late 1800s, Congress and Presidents have decorated various areas of the country as national forests, grasslands, and preserves. 6 Some well known National Parks include the Grand Canyon, Yosemite, Yellowstone, and the Great Smoky Mountains. 7 Protecting forests helps safeguard native plant and animal species, it honors landscapes complex histories, and preserving the natural beauty for future generations.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 3 be rewritten?
There are nearly 200 million protected acres
There are nearly, 200 million, protected acres
There are nearly, 200 million protected acres
There are nearly 200 million, protected acres (no change)
There are nearly 200, million, protected acres
There are nearly 200 million protected acres
No comma is needed between the adverb (“nearly”) and the first adjective (“200 million”), and no comma is generally needed between a number adjective and a descriptive adjective.
Example Question #3151 : Sat Writing
1 Thoreau went to them when he wished to live deliberately, Whitman wrote about them in his book Leaves of Grass. 2 They clean the air, and harbor wildlife. 3 There are nearly 200 million, protected acres of them in the United States. 4 Forests are a national treasure.
5 Since the late 1800s, Congress and Presidents have decorated various areas of the country as national forests, grasslands, and preserves. 6 Some well known National Parks include the Grand Canyon, Yosemite, Yellowstone, and the Great Smoky Mountains. 7 Protecting forests helps safeguard native plant and animal species, it honors landscapes complex histories, and preserving the natural beauty for future generations.
In Sentence 1, what is the correct formatting for “Leaves of Grass?”
All capital letters
Bold
Italics
Quotation marks
No formatting
Italics
The title of any book-length work is italicized in standard written English. Titles of short stories, essays, and poems should be surrounded by quotation marks. Bolding is not used to indicate citation, nor is capitalization.
Example Question #181 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment
There are two different ways to consider the so-called “Dark Ages.” On the one hand, you can think of the period directly after the fall of the Roman Empire, when civilization began to collapse throughout the Western Empire. On the other hand, you can consider the period that followed this initial collapse of society. It is a gross simplification too use the adjective dark to describe the civilization of either of these periods.
As regards the first period, it is quite a simplification to consider this period to be a single historical moment. It is not as though the civilization switched off like a lightbulb. At one moment light and then, at the next, dark. Instead, the decline of civilization occurred over a period of numerous decades and was, in fact, already occurring for many years before the so-called period of darkness. Thus, the decline of civilization was not a rapid collapse into barbarism, but instead, was a slow alteration of the cultural milieu of a partitions of Europe. Indeed, the Eastern Roman Empire retained much of it’s cultural status during these years of decline!
More importantly, the period following the slow collapse of the Western Empire was much less “dark” than almost every popular telling states. Indeed, even during the period of decline, the seeds for cultural restoration was being sown. A key element of this cultural revival were the formation of monastic communities throughout the countryside of what we now know as Europe. Although these were not the only positive force during these centuries, the monasteries had played an important role in preserving and advancing the cause of culture through at least the thirteenth century and arguably until the Renaissance.
How should the underlined section be changed?
It is not as though the civilization switched off like a lightbulb—at one moment light and then, at the next, dark.
NO CHANGE
It is not as though the civilization switched off like a lightbulb; at one moment light and then, at the next, dark.
It is not, as though, the civilization switched off like a lightbulb. At one moment light and then, at the next, dark.
It is not as though the civilization switched off like a lightbulb; at one moment light, and then, at the next, dark.
It is not as though the civilization switched off like a lightbulb—at one moment light and then, at the next, dark.
As written, the expression, "At one moment light and then, at the next, dark," is only a sentence fragment. Therefore, you need to integrate it into the first sentence in this selection in some way. Among the options provided, the only one that does this appropriately is the one that places a long dash after the first sentence. This makes the fragment into a kind of interrupting expression at the end of the main thought. A semicolon is not proper, for then you would need two fully formed sentences.
All SAT Writing Resources
